Fez Quote #557
Quote from Fez in Sally Simpson
Fez: I'm sorry about what I did to that poor bunny. I guess my gun really had a "hare" trigger, huh? Too soon? Yes, too soon. Well, I apologize for ruining our first date.
Suzy Simpson: Our first date? No, I was there on a date with Michael.
Fez: What? No, no, he told me we were on a date.
Suzy Simpson: He told me we were on a date.
Fez: You and me "we," or he and you "we"?
Suzy Simpson: I think one of us has been lied to. And the other one, too!
Fez: Well, then, you should be very angry, which means... I am, too!
Kelso: Hey, why don't you two kiss and make up?
Suzy Simpson: Michael, what kind of game are you playing, inviting me on a date that wasn't with you?
Fez: Yeah, I second that, but about her, and add, "You son of a bitch!"
Kelso: Okay, look, I have a really good explanation for this. But I left it at home. [runs out]
Features in the collection: Fez: You Son of a Bitch.
That '70s Show Quotes
‘Fez: You Son of a Bitch’
Fez: So you're telling me that if I showed up at someone's house and say, "Trick or treat," they'll give me a free piece of candy?
All: Yes!
Fez: Oh, I don't believe you.
[cut to:]
Fez: Trick or treat. An apple? Where's my candy, you son of a bitch?
Quote from Fez in Dine and Dash
Fez: Uh, yes, excuse me. Um, would you please send your finest imported beer to Caroline and tell her that when I said "Hi" what I meant was, "I'll take you like a stallion." You got that? Like a stallion?
Jackie: Fez, stop ordering stuff.
Fez: Okay, you need to chill out, little girl. Didn't you hear Kelso? The Vineyard is having a dine-and-dash promotion. Everything is free.
Jackie: It's not free, Fez. "Dine and dash" is when you run out without paying.
Fez: So it's stealing? This isn't going to help me with Caroline, is it? Excuse me.
[After Fez whispers to Donna, she whispers to Eric, who gives Kelso a "wet willy"]
Kelso: Hey!
Fez: That's from me, you son of a bitch.
‘Sally Simpson’ Quotes
Quote from Red
Eric: Oh, hey. What took you guys so long at the heart doctor's? Oh, let me guess. You had to call in a specialist just to find Dad's tiny heart.
Red: You know, we could call in a specialist to find my foot in your ass.
Hyde: "We're going to need an ass-foot-ologist, stat."
Quote from Fez
Fez: No, I cannot be in the same room with him. You and I are through. Now good day.
Kelso: But, Fez... [Fez is silent]
Jackie: Fez? He said, "But, Fez."
Fez: Oh, I heard him.
Donna: Well, now you're supposed to say... "I said good day."
Kelso: Yeah, and then we all know that you're really mad, but eventually, you'll get over it.
Fez: Oh, you'd like that. "Dance, monkey, dance." Well, Kelso, this monkey don't dance no more.
Donna: But, Fez...
Fez: I said good day! [groans]
Quote from Red
Red: You think my problem is my own son? My son is a fine young man.
Eric: Wow, Dad, you don't have...
Red: Shut up, dumbass. You know less about my family than you do about football! Which isn't saying much, since you dropped every pass that came near you! And let me tell you something else. When a real Packer hurts his leg, he stuffs his kneecap back in and keeps on running!
Eric: That's what this little mushroom would have done.