‘Kelso's Career’
Season 4, Episode 17 - Aired February 12, 2002
After Jackie tells Kelso to get a job to buy her a Valentine's gift, he starts making donations to a sperm bank. Red mysteriously tells Eric he loves him. Meanwhile, Donna agrees to go out with Kelso's brother, Casey (Luke Wilson).
Quote from Hyde
Eric: Okay, so I was in the kitchen and Red came in, and I was gonna tell him I loved him. But, uh, then he said if my hair got any longer he was gonna buy me a pair of boobs, so...
Hyde: Yeah, you're in a tough spot. But just know I'm here for you, 'cause... I love you.
Quote from Kelso
Kelso: Man, this job is the greatest. It combines all my interests, hobbies and skills into one moneymaking endeavor. I'm gonna get Jackie a sweet gift. [offers bowl] Popcorn?
Eric: Dude!
Hyde: Oh, forget it!
Quote from Eric
Donna: All right, Kelso. Where the hell is your moron brother? He was supposed to meet me at The Hub, and he totally blew me off.
Eric: Whoa. A Kelso blew you off? Oh, my God. What a shock. Oh, hey, Colonel Mustard called. He said, "get a clue".
Quote from Donna
Donna: Hey, Casey.
Casey: Hey, Pinciotti.
Donna: What the hell happened to you? I was waiting at The Hub?
Casey: Oh, man. See, the thing is, when I went to go pick up the steering-wheel cover, the Trans Am was running kind of rough, so I thought I'd rebuild the carburetor.
Donna: But I was waiting at The Hub.
Casey: Well, you want a smooth ride, don't you?
Donna: I just think that if you say you're gonna be someplace that you should be there.
Casey: Aw, man, I guess I flaked. I've just got this thing where a lot of times I don't show up. I don't know what to do about it.
Donna: How about showing up?
Casey: I guess I could give that a shot.
Donna: So this will never happen again?
Casey: No, I'm pretty sure it'll happen again. But we'll light that firecracker when we come to it.
Donna: Fair enough. [Casey kisses Donna] I can't believe this. When I got here, I was so mad at you and I already totally forgave you.
Casey: Yeah. Everybody does.
Quote from Kelso
Kelso: All right. Good news. My boys are back in friendly hands.
Donna: Ironically, that's just where they started their journey.
Hyde: That's a shame, Kelso. It's the one job I knew you could've been a success at.
Kelso: Thanks, Hyde.
Eric: Kelso, get that nasty bag of genetics out of my basement.
Kelso: This bag? [throws it at the group] Burn! It's just a big bag of candy.
Fez: Candy? What kind of candy?