Eric: And finished.
Jackie: Eric, this looks nothing like me.
Eric: Oh, I wasn't drawing you. I just wanted you to shut up for a little while.

Jackie: Steven! How was your first day at work?
Hyde: Damn, Jackie. Can't I sit down and have a beer before you start in on me? Sorry. It's the store in Skokie, the numbers just don't add up.

Midge: I'm having trouble concentrating.
Donna: Me, too. That dog is loud.
Midge: What dog?
Kitty: Please stop barking, Schotzie. Mommy's doing her tai chi. [barking continues] Not very considerate to bark during Mommy's quiet time, Schotzie. [shouts] Shut your freaking trap! [dog whimpers] This is so soothing.

Kitty: So, Steven, your first day at work.
Hyde: I don't know how much longer I'm gonna be working there. I was getting a cup of coffee today, this guy walks up to me and says, "Working hard or hardly working?" I threw my powdered milk at him.
Eric: See, that's what I'm looking forward to about being an artist. Loving my job. And don't get me wrong, it can be torture waiting for inspiration to strike. But it's nice, because that gives me time to go bowling.
Red: Did you secure that statue of Bob yet?
Eric: I didn't. But I could give you an artist's rendering of what that might look like.
Red: You're gonna end up selling women's shoes.

Hyde: Hey, WB, got a sec?
William Barnett: Steven, I heard what happened yesterday. Perhaps I should have been more clear about our milk-throwing policy.
Hyde: Look, man, I don't think I can work here anymore.
William Barnett: Well, why not?
Hyde: I just... I don't belong here.
William Barnett: Dennis?
Dennis: Tuesdays, huh?
Hyde: Get outta here!
William Barnett: Look, I can't let you quit on me.
Hyde: You don't know me that well. I've quit on a lot of people.
William Barnett: No, I mean, I won't let you quit. You could have a really great future, but you need somebody to help you get started. I wasn't there for you when you were growing up, so I wanna do this.
Hyde: Yeah, but a job? Can't you just, like, buy me a stereo?
William Barnett: You're the boss' son. You really don't have to work that hard.
Hyde: All right. I'll give it a week. But what am I supposed to do with all those sales reports?
William Barnett: Just give them to Dennis. That's what I do.

Eric: I don't believe it. They think I have, "No artistic talent." You know, I'm beginning to suspect that The Cartoon Academy of Fort Lauderdale isn't that legitimate. [dog barks]
Kitty: Okay, all right. Schotzie, it's time for you to have some quiet time behind the wall.
Eric: Well, I guess it's back to hand turkeys for me.
Red: I don't know what that means, but don't do it around here.
[As Schotzie barks, Eric leans against the wall and knocks over the Buddha statue. Schotzie stops barking.]
Kitty: Schotzie?!
Eric: You know, that statue was supposed to bring you peace. And in a way, it did.