‘It's Only Rock and Roll’
Season 7, Episode 5 - Aired October 6, 2004
Hyde starts working for his father, William Barnett (Tim Reid), at his record store company. As Kitty searches for meaning in her life, she takes up tai chi with Midge and Donna. Meanwhile, Kelso turns over his stash of Playboy magazines to Fez.
Quote from Eric
Eric: You guys, listen to this ad. "Do you like to draw?" Well, I have been known to trace my hand and turn it into a turkey. "If so, have your artistic ability evaluated by The Cartoon Academy of Fort Lauderdale."
Donna: Ooh, I think Picasso went there.
Eric: All I have to do is send in my drawing of Sanchez the Turtle and a money order for $19.95. Twenty bucks to get judged by a panel of cartoon experts? I'd pay twice that.
Quote from Hyde
Jackie: Steven, you cannot go to your first day at your dad's company dressed like that. You're working there, not digging a ditch to there.
Hyde: Jackie, he owns a chain of record stores. This is the official uniform of rock 'n' roll. I'm dressed to jam.
Fez: I agree with Jackie. You clean up so nice. Let the world see what I see.
Quote from Eric
Eric: [chuckles] I'm sorry. I'm drawing Sanchez the Turtle, and I made a little bubble where he's saying, "What's the hurry, guys?" Watch your back, Doonesbury.
Quote from Hyde
William Barnett: Here's where you'll be working, son.
Hyde: Oh, it's pretty grim. So, is this where we interrogate the political prisoners? So, um, where's all the records at?
William Barnett: Right here. These papers are the sales records for all of our stores in the greater tri-county area.
Hyde: These aren't the kind of papers I thought I'd be working with. I thought they'd be smaller and wrapped around something illegal.
William Barnett: Look, I don't wanna bum you out, but we kind of have a dress code here.
Hyde: You're dressed pretty casual.
William Barnett: Yeah, but this is silk. You couldn't pull it off.
Quote from Hyde
William Barnett: Steven, we're gonna be evaluating store profits from last quarter. So your job is to go through these records and to underline every instance of the word "credit."
Hyde: That's what I'm gonna be doing my whole first day?
William Barnett: [scoffs] First day? Ha! It'll take you a week. But if you get bored, do what I do. Play golf.
Hyde: I don't play golf.
William Barnett: Good, you can't leave anyway.
Quote from Hyde
Dennis: You're the new guy, huh? I'm Dennis.
Hyde: I'm Hyde.
Dennis: Mondays, huh?
Hyde: I guess.
Dennis: Hey, you picked a good week to start. We just got a new copy machine. It's already broken. [whimpers] I'm really unhappy.
Quote from Kitty
Kitty: Thanks for taking me to get my tai chi supplies. [chuckles] What was that wonderful store called again?
Donna: Point Place Meditation Supply and Dried Fruit Depot.
Kitty: Well, that is so clever.
Eric: Really? Wow, your clever threshold is really low. This colors a lot of the compliments that you've given me.
Quote from Kitty
Kitty: I just love my new buddy.
Donna: You know, I think it's called a Buddha.
Kitty: No, that is not even a word. Next, you'll tell me butter is called booder.
Quote from Hyde
William Barnett: I can't tell you how good it makes me feel to look in here and see my own son. How's it going?
Hyde: Well, I'm kind of glad there's not a window in here. I probably would have jumped out of it.
William Barnett: Ah, you kids with your suicide jokes.
Quote from Hyde
Dennis: Finally finished. Bad news, Hyde. Sales decided it would be more efficient to Wite-Out the credits and underline the debits instead.
Hyde: But... But... But I underlined credits.
Dennis: If you're interested, I have some stuff that can help you get through the day.
Hyde: Oh, I'm interested.
Dennis: Cool. Wait, what are you talking about?
Hyde: What are you talking about?
Dennis: What are you talking about?
Hyde: What are you talking about?
Dennis: [quietly] Licorice.
Hyde: Get out of my office!