Kelso: Are you okay?
Jackie: I don't know, Michael. It's just that death is so unexpected. And we are such fragile beings, never knowing when the flame of our lives will be blown out by the wind of death.
Kelso: What?
Jackie: I am so turned on, aren't you?
Kelso: Okay.
Jackie: Let's go.
Kelso: Car?
Jackie: Coat room.
Kelso: Better.

Eric: Hey, Dad, nice trains.
Red: Yeah. You know, I can't believe that your grandma held on to them all these years. I thought she'd thrown them away.
Eric: Yeah, she was a good egg, Grandma.
Red: Yes, she was. You know, when I was a little boy, I hated peaches and Mom knew that. So whenever she made a peach pie, she'd make a little blueberry pie. Special, just for me. You know, she was the first one to call me Red. And the last time I saw her, I didn't... I didn't say, I love you. I didn't even say good bye. I said, "Show me the tail lights."
Eric: Dad, um, the last thing I said to her was: "It wouldn't kill you to be nice." But I think it did, because she died.
Red: [laughs] That could only happen to you, son. [chuckles] It's okay.
Eric: I know.
[Kitty enters with a depressed look across her face]
Red: What's the matter, Kitty?
Kitty: I'm all out of eggs... and flour. [sobs]
Red: Come here. Eric.
Laurie: [comes downstairs] Hey, do you think these diamonds are real? Oh, family moment. I'll leave you three alone.

Eric: [to the grave] I'm really sorry that our last conversation didn't go so smooth. But look, that is not how I feel about you at all.
Hyde: [high-pitched voice] Then why did you kill me, Eric? I'll never forgive you.
Eric: What the hell are you doing out here?
Hyde: Freezing my nads off for a joke, man.

Donna: Eric, what's your grandma doing sleeping in the car?
Eric: She's not, uh- She's not sleeping. She's dead. No, really. She's dead.
Donna: What?! What are you talking about, she's dead?
Eric: I, uh, was driving her home and then I yelled at her and then she died.
Donna: She died? I mean, what did Red say?
Eric: Oh, I'm not telling Red.
Donna: Eric, I don't mean to criticize, but are you insane? You need to do something.

Kelso: Eric, I just gotta get my eight-track out of the car.
Donna: Kelso!
Kelso: Grandma Forman, can you just move your leg there?
Donna: Kelso, she's dead.
Kelso: Oh, my God! [drops tape] Oh, my God! [runs away]

Kitty: Oh, she sent back the leftovers. This is so typical of your grandmother. Why do I even put up with her?
Eric: Mom, I think you might be coming down a little hard on Grandma this time.
Kitty: Well, you know what? She is just an evil, evil, horrible little woman. What did she say about me this time?
Eric: Not much.
Red: [enters] So, did you get your Grandma home, okay?
Eric: Well, um... You know, the strangest thing happened.

Red: Okay, now here's the part where I get lost. How did she hit the sidewalk?
Eric: Well, I opened the door for her.
Red: And what the hell was going through your head when you did that?
Kitty: Oh, just yell at him, Red. I'm sure that his grandmother dying hasn't upset him enough.
Red: Eric, take your mother in the house. She's hysterical.
Eric: Yes, sir. And I have to tell you, sir, when we were driving I said to Grandma- I said-
Red: Eric, this is no time to get upset.
Kitty: Well, when is the right time?
Red: I'll handle this, Eric, you just take your mother in the house.

Eric: Mom.
Kitty: Well, this- This is a terrible loss.
Eric: Mom, didn't you just say that she was evil?
Kitty: I never said any such thing.
Eric: Okay.

Laurie: Mom, what is with all this food?
Kitty: Well, you know, busy hands are happy hands. [laughs] Oh, say, would you like a cup of chili with your waffles?
Laurie: Um, I don't know. Sure.

Kitty: Okay, now, who would like a Monte Cristo?
Marty: Oh, Kitty, groovy sandwiches. No red meat, right?
Kitty: Oh, no. Just ham.