Hyde: All right. Now, when we get to the checkpoint, everyone just act cool. And by everyone, I mean Mr. Crap Shoes.
Kelso: It was on fire!

Jackie: Wow.
Michelle: Hi. I'm Michelle Ray, president of Glamourella International. And you must be...?
Jackie: I'm Jackie Burkhart.
Michelle: Jackie Burkhart. Exactly. And you are here for...?
Jackie: My audition.
Michelle: Your audition. Exactly. And you must be...?
Jackie: Yeah. She doesn't matter. Okay. Let's start.

Hyde: All right. Just act cool. We got nothin' to hide.
Border Guard: You got something to hide, eh?
Eric: No, no. He said, "We've got nothing to hide."
Border Guard: Well, around here, we don't make a point of saying we've got nothing to hide if we've really got nothing to hide.
Eric: Wow. Cultural differences. Wow.
Kelso: We're all Americans, every one of us.
Border Guard: All right. Move along.
Eric: Thank you. Cool. [beer bottle opens]
Border Guard: Stop right there. [opens trunk]
Fez: Hey, you found me! You win a beer.

Leo: You see, beer is evil. I'm not gonna say I told you so, man, but I will say this: I told you so, man.
Chris: Beer never hurt anyone, my friend. You're well within the legal limit on that.
Bryan: But you're over the limit on foreign kids you can smuggle out of this country.
Kelso: Well, what is the legal limit on that? We only had one foreign kid.
Chris: The limit is zero, you hoser.
Kelso: Damn it.
Chris: Hey, I'd keep a civil tongue in my head if I were you. We could throw you in jail right now. We're the Mounties; we answer to no one.

Eric: Look, Fez just lost his green card. We just- We didn't want any trouble.
Bryan: Lost green card? Seems a little convenient, eh?
Hyde: You got us. We're here to take over your country.
Eric: [chuckles] [clears throat] Hyde, I know it seems funny when you say stuff like that but, um, don't.
Bryan: No one leaves until we get answers, eh?
Chris: Eh?
Both: Eh?

Donna: Jackie, can't you see? This woman is just trying to make money off you.
Jackie: Donna, she deserves her cut. She discovered a remarkable talent. Donna, don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful.
Donna: Jackie, I pity you because you're dumb. Administrative fees? Publicity shots? Beauty packages? It's a scam.
Jackie: God, Donna, this is the most important thing that's ever happened to me, and you're trying to ruin it.
Donna: Look, Jackie, I'm sorry, but-
Jackie: And to think I was gonna make you my assistant.

Michelle: Our nail care package is optional, but if you're really serious-
Jackie: Oh. Oh, I am. I am fully committed to both fame and fortune.
Michelle: You are going places. That'll be another $200 then.
Jackie: Excellent.

Bryan: You guys are in real trouble if you did what we think you did.
Eric: What do you think we did?
Chris: What do you think we think you did?
Hyde: What do you think we think you think we did?
Bryan: Something involving a foreign kid in the back of a car. That much is for sure.
Chris: And now we're gonna get some answers.
Hyde: What are you gonna do? Torture us?
Kelso: Yeah. You gonna make us listen to Anne Murray records?
Bryan: Hey, she's a wonderful performer, and you're not funny.
Chris: No. I think what we're gonna do is call your parents.
Fez: Oh, Red is going to kill you. I mean... [babbles]