Kelso: Guys, guess how many countries I've whizzed in. Two.

Michelle: Now, you're going to need to cover a few costs.
Jackie: Of course. Oh, you know, I left my checkbook at home. Um, can I come by tomorrow?
Michelle: Oh, tomorrow. [sighs] No. No. Tomorrow, I'll be in Paris, you know, for the big show.
Jackie: Okay. Then I'll bring it by tonight.
Michelle: Good. Okay. Administrative costs are $200.
Jackie: Uh-huh.
Michelle: And publicity shots are $150. And we're gonna need beauty supplies-
Donna: Wait. Hold on. Hold on. Are you an agent or a saleslady?
Michelle: Oh, I'm an agent. I represent models like Cheryl Tiegs.
Donna: You represent Cheryl Tiegs?
Michelle: No. Models like Cheryl Tiegs.

Chris: What are you doing in Canada?
[montage:]
Leo: What are you doing in Canada?
Hyde: We're part of an elite, high school terrorist team, Strike Force Wisconsin.
Eric: Uh, we just came here to get the beer, and I love Rush. [sings] "Fly by night!" Ow!
Kelso: Well, if ham's Canadian bacon, then what the hell do you call bacon?
Fez: Me no "speakaz" English.

Chris: What's your business in Canada?
[montage:]
Leo: What's your business in Canada?
Eric: What? Getting beer.
Kelso: Every once in a while, do you ever get an American nickel in your change?
Fez: Me no "understando."

Bryan: What's your reason for coming to Canada, eh?
[montage:]
Leo: What's your reason-
Chris: Shut up!
Hyde: Yeah. I'm here to nail Margaret Trudeau.
Chris: Been there.
Bob: Done that.
Eric: Beer. Beer. Beer!
Kelso: Are those snowshoes hard to walk in? They're tennis rackets, aren't they?
Fez: [babbles]
Bryan: [babbles]?

Michelle: Hi, I'm Michelle Ray.
Donna: I know. I was just here.
Michelle: Of course you were.
Jackie: I told you to stay in the car, you dream killer.
Donna: Jackie, I'm here for you. And, as a matter of fact I've decided to be a model too.
Jackie: [laughs] Oh, Donna, you're so funny!
Michelle: Now, Donna, you're gonna need $200 for publicity costs. And then there's administrative fees.
Jackie: Wait, wait. You didn't even ask her to shake her hair.
Michelle: Oh, yeah. Shake your hair. [Donna shakes her hear] You are a remarkable talent.
Jackie: Wait, wait, wait. You think Donna here can be a model? This is a scam. How dare you soil the pure and noble art of modeling?
Michelle: I like your passion. Have you ever considered acting?
Jackie: Oh, my God. That's my dream.
Donna: We're going home.

Kelso: No! We had to smuggle Fez. It was the only way for him to see this great country with its spacious skies and fruited waves of plain. And... [sings] Oh, Canada Our home and native land-
Chris: Nice try, kid.
Kelso & Eric: [sing] True patriot love In all thy sons' command-
Bryan: It's not gonna work.
Kelso, Eric, Fez & Hyde: [sing] With glowing hearts We see thee rise the true north strong as... [voices trail off] [Leo starts off and others join] From far and wide Oh, Canada we stand on guard for thee [Mounties join in] God keep our land Glorious and free Oh, Canada We stand on guard for thee Oh, Canada We stand on guard for thee
Chris: You sure are good kids.
Leo: Thanks, man.
Bryan: You know, there must be some way to put this all behind us.
Chris: Yeah, but there's not.
Kelso: We'll give you our beer.
Chris: [gasps] Oh, God bless you, son.

Fez: My green card. I hid it in my right shoe for safekeeping. I even made up a rhyme so I would remember. [sings] My green card in my right shoe Something, something right shoe...
Eric: So, see, it was just a big misunderstanding.
Hyde: [sighs] Thank God we got that cleared up. We're just gonna grab our beer and head on out of here.
Bryan: Yeah. But you're not gettin' your beer back. Now leave Canada, please.
Leo: You leave Canada, please.

[circle:]
Fez: Guys, I have to admit something. I love Anne Murray. She puts me in the mood.
Eric: So, guys, next time, instead of going to Canada let's just stay here and pretend we're in Canada. So, how's it goin', eh?
Kelso: Hey, you know, if Fonzie ever played a Mountie on Happy Days he could go, "Aay, eh?"

Fez: What if I can't breathe?
Leo: Just take a deep breath, man... [inhales] And visualize yourself breathing.