Sayid: What should we do with them next?
Sandra: Oh, we could go egg their cars.
Isaac: Oh, yeah.
Sayid: We should slash their tires.
Mateo: That would just make them walk more. We should I, Tonya them.

Amy: Okay, guys. We're even now. Let's just focus on the steps challenge.
Sandra: Hey, if they didn't want to get into a war then they shouldn't have started talking trash about us.
Marcus: Bingo.
Amy: Well maybe it wasn't them. Maybe it was actually Kirkwood who wanted us to think it was Bel-Ridge so that we would fight each other and Kirkwood could win.
Jonah: What a crazy big conspiracy that would be to win a regional workplace step competition.

Marcus: Does anyone know how to make a Molotov cocktail?
Garrett: Vodka, ginger beer, and lime.

Mateo: Hold up. Did you also lie about corporate? Do they not know I'm a superstar?
Amy: They might.
Mateo: I haven't slept. [stammers] I haven't eaten. I got clipped by a KIA on the highway, Amy! Ugh! Excuse me.
Amy: You look skinny.
Mateo: Thank you!

Dina: The worst part about this is that Colleen wins again.
Jonah: Seriously, what's the deal with this woman? Did she, like, kill somebody you love?
Dina: Let's just say the St. Louis Ornithology Society is nothing but a popularity contest.

Amy: Hey, who was that guy?
Jonah: Just now? I don't know, doesn't he work here?
Amy: I've never seen him. Have you?
Dina: No. Wait, you don't know him? I mean, you were talking to him like he was an old pal.
Jonah: I told him where the break room is.
Dina: Yeah, but it was how you said it. It seemed like it was an inside joke.
Jonah: What would be the joke?
Dina: I don't know. It's between you and that guy.
Amy: Well maybe he's new. Or, like, from another branch or something. Oh, [bleep].

Sandra: What happened in here?
Glenn: My beautiful break room. Jerusha made this.
Sandra: Amy, why would you do this?
Amy: No, I didn't do this! This was actually Bel-Ridge.
Dina: It's true. I just got a text from Colleen. It says, "Clean up on aisle 'your break room'." Damn, she's funny.

Amy: No, guys. Wasn't this the retaliation? You hit them, they hit us back. We're even now.
Marcus: Uh-uh. We hit them at a four, but they hit us at a seven. So now we owe them. Like, three.
Jonah: But if we get them back they're just going to get us back and then where does it end?
Marcus: When we get them back after that.
Garrett: He's right. That's the natural end of this.

Glenn: So we're competing with all the other Cloud 9's in the district and the branch with the most combined steps by the end of the week wins.
Mateo: Oh, my God, are these Apple watches?
Glenn: Close. They're SuperCloud Step Trackers.
Garrett: Awesome. I was hoping to get something worse than an Apple watch. Yes! Thank you.

Dina: These are yours to keep for the week. You have to keep them on 24/7, they are not waterproof, and you can't get them too hot or too cold or they will burn your skin.
Garrett: Okay, I'm gonna go ahead and pass.
Dina: Don't worry. There's a wheel chair setting.
Garrett: Oh, I'm not worried. It just sounds terrible.