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Olympics

‘Olympics’

Season 2, Episode 1 - Aired August 19, 2016

When the store holds special events to promote the Olympics, Amy gets the opportunity to meet her Olympic idol, gymnast Missy Jones (Cecily Strong). Meanwhile, Olympic pride prompts Glenn and Mateo to reconsider their patriotism.

Quote from Cheyenne

Amy: So, dropping out of school, that's a big risk for... for a field that's so competitive and which so few people succeed.
Cheyenne: I know it's a risk, but I believe in myself. And back when I took gymnastics, Coach Bev said I was her best trier in her Tuesday-Thursday class.
Amy: Coach Bev said that, huh?
Cheyenne: Mm-hmm.
Jonah: I think what Amy is trying to say is that, uh, a lot of Olympic gymnasts train their whole lives, so writing it down a card might not be enough.
Cheyenne: Really?
Amy: No, that is not what I was trying to say, Jonah. I was trying to say Tokyo 2020!

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Quote from Dina

Dina: These burritos all have meat in them, so I can't eat any of these. [throws them in the trash]

Quote from Sandra

Dina: You're off the team.
Garrett: Okay, fine, whatever. Sorry, guys. Forget the whole thing.
Sandra: [emotional] I can't.

Quote from Amy

Cheyenne: All you have to do is write it on the card, believe in it, and your dreams will come true!
Amy: Oh, hey! Are you guys doing that Missy-dream-card thing where you write down your realistic dreams?
Cheyenne: Uh, realistic?
Amy: Yeah, that's the point. You make your dreams realistic so that you're not setting yourself up for disappointment.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Let's try someone else. Uh... "Nail Scarlett Johansson." Ah. Okay. Maybe more realistically... why don't you try to "nail" someone you actually know? Like your wife?
Jonah: Oh, cool, that'd be awesome.
Elias: No, it wouldn't.
Amy: What I'm trying to say is you may not be able to "start the next Google" or, uh, "be Beyoncé," or "try lobster". No, Carol, that is a good one. You could actually do that right now.
Carol: I'm allergic. It would kill me.
Amy: Okay, well, then, maybe don't try the lobster, but what I'm saying is you can't just do anything. If you could, then Garrett could just make himself walk. Oh, my God, I'm so sorry, Garrett. That's just the first thing that came to mind.
Garrett: Well, you know what? I never tried writing it on a card before. [marker squeaking] [sighs] Nope.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Cheyenne, what did you write? Um, let's see, uh, "Olympic gymnast"?
Jonah: Hmm...
Amy: Thoughts? Realistic?
Jonah: You know, I don't know anymore.
Amy: Yeah, 'cause we could replace this with, um, like, uh, college graduate.
Jonah: Oh!
Amy: Or, um, businesswoman.
Jonah: There you go.
Cheyenne: Yeah, okay, I get it.
Amy: You do?
Cheyenne: Yeah. You don't believe I can do it.
Both: No.
Jonah: No, no.
Amy: No, that is not what I'm saying.
Cheyenne: Thanks, Amy.

Quote from Marcus

Marcus: Hey. If Elias isn't nailing Scarlett Johansson, can I?
Amy: [groans] Sure.
Marcus: Yes!

Quote from Cheyenne

Amy: Cheyenne.
Cheyenne: What? Now you don't even believe I can sell jewelry?
Amy: Oh, come on.
Cheyenne: I'm not stupid, okay? I never really thought I could become an Olympic athlete.
Amy: So then why were you...
Cheyenne: It was just nice living the fantasy for a while. You know, like, when you buy a lottery ticket and you plan on how you're gonna spend the money, even though you know you're not really gonna win?
Amy: Look, Cheyenne, I know... that you... are destined for greatness.
Cheyenne: Sorry, it just sounds cheesy.
Amy: I don't know how she does it!

Quote from Glenn

Mateo: Glenn? Uh... This isn't easy for me to say, but, um, I found out today that I am not an American. But I love this job and, um...
Glenn: Mateo. You're an American. And I'm Filipino. And everybody's everything. So it's like nobody's anything. And that's beautiful.
Mateo: Well, okay.
Glenn: Okay. Let me see that pin. Okay. [chuckles] Heh.
Mateo: You stick yourself?
Glenn: So bad. Right into the bone.
Mateo: Do you want me to go get someone or...
Glenn: Just be with me.

Quote from Glenn

Glenn: Only in America. But also only in anywhere else in the world, really.

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