‘Myrtle’
Season 5, Episode 12 - Aired January 16, 2020
As the employees mourn the loss of Myrtle, Jonah is surprised to have been left money in her will. Meanwhile, Cheyenne starts selling bootleg cosmetics, and Dina is reunited with her absentee father, Howard (Dean Norris).
Quote from Cheyenne
Cheyenne: Oh, Garrett, do you want to try some hand lotion?
Garrett: Nah, not really a hand lotion guy.
Cheyenne: [chuckles] Yeah, obviously.
Garrett: Okay, well, if you're gonna be rude, come on.
Cheyenne: Oh, all right. [Garrett applies hand lotion and moves away] [to Mateo] Now just watch the money roll in.
Quote from Cheyenne
Cheyenne: The colors are packaged so you know they go together. It takes out all the think work.
Janet: I could use a little less think work. I'll take one. Thank you, baby.
Cheyenne: Mm‐hmm.
Quote from Cheyenne
Mateo: Wait, you made all that money today?
Cheyenne: Uh‐huh, and this may push me to Lucy May diamond level. Once you hit diamond, they send you a sweet hoodie. Well, it's a hoodie.
Quote from Garrett
Garrett: Hey, Cheyenne, that stuff you gave me, the lotion or whatever?
Cheyenne: Isn't it the best? And it makes your hands smell like you just washed them with Hawaiian Punch.
Garrett: You know, I-I could just, like, buy a bottle if it'll help you out.
Mateo: Really, Garrett? You're buying Lucy May?
Garrett: Yeah, to help Cheyenne. Plus, feel my hands. They're soft like puppy fur.
Mateo: I've never touched you before. It's weird.
Quote from Amy
Amy: Look, I know why you did it. It's just that we talked about maybe sharing the money.
Jonah: No, you're right. You're right.
Amy: I just hope that you don't go around giving away chunks of our money for the rest of our lives.
Jonah: Rest of our lives, huh?
Amy: What? No, I meant, like, for the rest of, like, however long this is.
Jonah: No, I get it. Yeah, however long this is, which if you have your way, will be 1 million years.
Amy: Oh, shut up.
Quote from Jonah
Amy: Ugh. What a waste of money. We would spend it so much better. I still love the idea of a vacation.
Jonah: Wow, you're really stuck on this vacation thing. If there's something you're planning on asking me...
Amy: I hate this.
Jonah: You can do it right here in town.
Amy: Please stop!
Quote from Dina
Dina: Dad, this is Garrett.
Garrett: Dad? Oh, wow, okay. Nice to meet you.
Howard: Yeah.
Dina: Garrett killed all my birds.
Garrett: Oh, well...
Dina: Then he had sex with me.
Garrett: Okay.
Howard: Wow. Busy guy. [sniffs] Smell like Hawaiian Punch here? [both sniffing]
Dina: Oh, yeah. What is that?
Quote from Sayid
Amy: Look, buying your way into heaven, that's... That's just not how it works, and what is that fruity smell?
Sayid: I smell it, too. Definitely coming from this area.
Quote from Sayid
Justine: I'm sorry. Now I'm smelling the fruit. Is it coming from over there?
Sayid: This is a joke. We all know who it is. What we don't know is why.