Cheyenne: Why didn't you just tell him that you didn't understand what he was saying?
Amy: Because then he would just go on and on about taking my Latina card from me.
Justine: What's a Latina card?
Sandra: Like when you go to Sharky's, you earn points.

Dina: Guys, Amy's in uncharted territory right now. She usually only dates white men.
Justine: Well, that's pretty racist.
Amy: That's not true. I don't just date white men. I dated one white guy 15 years ago, and I just happened to marry him.
Jonah: I'm gonna call Kelly. I'm gonna text her. I'm gonna call her.
Mateo: Just because she has a preference doesn't mean she's racist.
Amy: I don't have a preference. And if I did, it probably wouldn't be white guys.
Jonah: You know what? She's here. I could just go up and talk to her. Eh, I'm gonna text her.
Dina: I'm sorry, isn't having a preference the definition of racism?
Mateo: I think it's racist to have a non-preference. Like, you can say, "I'm into Cuban guys," but you can't say, "I'm into everyone but Cuban guys."

Glenn: Mateo? You know, you would look really fetching in a bird scarf.
Mateo: Oh, I never cover my neck. It's my best feature. Also, I'm saving up for something I actually want to buy.

Glenn: Listen up! Everybody here better get out there and start buying stuff from my wife!
Sandra: I feel like you're pressuring us.
Glenn: You're goddamn right, I'm pressuring you. You buy stuff, or you're fired!
Sandra: What?
Glenn: Yeah, and if you tell anyone I did this, I'll lie. And I'll say that I didn't. And they'll believe me, because I'm the boss! Now! Now, go, go! You move your ass! [throws away lunch container]
Sandra: I had my medicine in that. I crush it up and hide it to trick myself.
Glenn: Oh, let me... let me help you. Maybe it's right on top here.

Jonah: So it seems like, uh, Jerusha's sales seem to be picking up a little bit, huh?
Glenn: Yeah. God, I am so proud of her. 'Cause, you know, needlepoint comes easy to a lot of people. But not Jerusha.
Jonah: I just can't help but wonder if some of the employees might feel a little pressured, you know, to buy her stuff.
Glenn: I'm not pressuring anyone.
Jonah: No, of course not, but there's... Yeah, I think there's an inherent coercive power that you wield over the employees, even... even if you're not conscious of it.
Glenn: Yeah, sure, sure, but you know, I think if I was doing something subconsciously, I'd know it.
Jonah: Right.
Glenn: Yeah.
Jonah: Yeah, I just, you know... I think, uh... I think what I'm saying is, just be careful how you use your power.
Glenn: Well, maybe you should be careful how you use your power... Handsome.

Jerusha: So I can do hats with squirrels on them. I can do scarves with birds on them.
Woman: What about a scarf with a squirrel on it?
Jerusha: No. I mean, I guess technically I could. But no, I just don't feel comfortable with that.

Amy: ¿Qué pasa, amigo? ¿Cómo estás?
Alex: Hey, what's up?
Amy: Ah, answering in Inglés? I'm gonna have to take away your Latino card.
Alex: I guess you do. I had no idea you spoke Spanish.
Amy: Oh, sí, claro Que sí. We spoke Spanish in mi casa all the time. Uh, lunes, martes, miércoles, and so on.
Alex: [rapidly speaking Spanish] [mimics cat meowing]
Amy: Mm.
Alex: [speaks Spanish]
Amy: No.
Alex: [speaks Spanish]

Jonah: That is Bud Light.
Garrett: Thank you.
Jonah: But you know what? Who cares?
Garrett: No, no, man. I don't care. It's just that I want her to admit that I'm right.
Jonah: Mm-hmm.
Garrett: You know, it's about respect.
Jonah: Right, that sounds like caring.
Garrett: No, no, no, no, dude. I don't care. It's just important to me.
Jonah: Oh, okay, so that's the definition of caring.
Garrett: No, dude, I don't care.
Jonah: Right.
Garrett: Mm!

Glenn: Hey, feel like getting some lunch?
Jerusha: Oh, no, I'm not really hungry. People aren't buying anything anymore. Earlier I was selling a lot, but now people are returning things.
Glenn: That... that's weird. Well, you know retail. It's a crazy business.
Jerusha: That's probably it. I just can't help but kind of feel like a failure as a woman. You know, my lady parts are all dried up.
Glenn: They're not.
Jerusha: I can't do needlepoint up to the standards of these people. My hair won't hold a perm. When is it Jerusha's turn?
Glenn: Oh, come on. [Jerusha whimpers] It'll be fine. Sales will pick up. I mean, people love your scarves.
Jerusha: What about my hats?
Glenn: Oh, and your hats too. Even more than your scarves.
Jerusha: More?
Glenn: No, the... the same. Look, it'll get better. I promise.

Alex: [rapidly speaking Spanish] "Hey, how're you doing?" [rapidly speaking Spanish]
Amy: Oh, fantástico. Sí, sí.
Alex: Really?
Amy: Sí.
Alex: Wow, this is great. I'm looking forward to it.
Amy: Oh, sí.
Alex: Awesome.