Garrett: So is Jerusha a big Lord of the Rings fan?
Glenn: Uh, no, this is Willow. What's Lord of the Rings?

Marcus: How old's this one?
Kristen: Uh, I'm 25. And I can talk.
Marcus: Cool. I'm around.

Garrett: Uh, I'm just gonna ask. What's going on with little homey over here?
Glenn: Uh, this is attachment therapy for Timur's displacement/rage issues. Uh, it's going really great so far, yeah. [Glenn makes a "so-so" hand gesture]
Jonah: Glenn, this one is eating my breakfast.
Glenn: T'Oliver, no! You had two breakfast pizzas on the way here. Stop... stop it. Stop eating his food! Stop! Stop it! Stop! Stop eating.
Jonah: I don't think he can hear you.

Kristen: I knew I recognized you from somewhere.
Jonah: Oh, yeah?
Kristen: You performed in Vegas, didn't you?
Jonah: Oh, yeah, but, uh, then I quit to pursue my true passion, marking down Martin Lawrence DVDs.

Glenn: You know, and now she's finally on a good path. And I don't want anything to get in her way.
Amy: Well, I mean, isn't she in law school? Uh, she's got a good head on her shoulders.
Glenn: Yeah, until, you know, she falls for "Mr. B-School Dropout" over there. Next thing you know, she's ditching classes so she can get all bortched up and lie on her back, watching airplanes land.
Amy: Uh, well, look, Glenn, who knows. Maybe Jonah's gonna say something like, "joie de vivre" and she won't even want to go out with him.
Glenn: Oh, come on. You're talking about Jonah. Who doesn't fall in with Jonah? So gorgeous.

Garrett: [over PA] Attention Cloud 9 shoppers. Please ignore the following announcement. Bobbie Sue, where are you?

Garrett: [over PA] Bobbie Sue? Come to the front of the store for free candy. The man with wheels has free... [to woman passing by] Hey, what's up? [over PA] Free candy.

Bobby Suh: See, it says right here, "Bobby Suh," that's me.
Garrett: I was talking about a different Bobbie Sue.
Bobby Suh: It doesn't matter. You said Bobby Suh gets candy. I'm Bobby Suh.
Garrett: I understand that, phonetically, your name is Bobby Suh, but I was looking for someone else.

Jonah: So, Glenn, um, I was talking to Kristen earlier.
Glenn: Mm-hmm?
Jonah: And... if it's okay with you... I was thinking about maybe asking her out.
Glenn: You and my little girl? [pause] I love it!
Jonah: Really? B... because some people thought it might actually be a bad idea.
Amy: You know, Glenn, it's totally appropriate to say no if you want to.
Glenn: "No"? Are you kidding me? In fact, if you don't go and ask her out right now, I am gonna kill myself. And I know exactly how many aspirin to take.

Amy: Uh, yeah. Yeah, sure, but, uh, trust me, there is... there is baggage there. Like, um, he talks way too much about cheese. And you don't want that.
Kristen: The last guy I dated stole all my jewelry.
Amy: Yeah. Uh, well, it's not... it's not just cheese. He's got other stuff. Like... like... he... like he has this list of French films that he says he's gonna watch, and he never will.
Kristen: You know, honestly, I mean, none of that seems that bad to me.
Amy: Great. Cool. Well, I just... I just wanted to make sure that you were aware of the... the cheese and the... the films. And the meth.
Kristen: Wait, the meth?
Amy: Yeah. Crystal meth, he smokes a ton of it. Is that... is that a deal-breaker?
Kristen: Kinda.
Amy: Oh. Darn. Probably should have led with that.