Sal: Is this your family?
Glenn: Oh, yeah.
Sal: They're so clean.
Glenn: Your resume says you have a lot of experience babysitting.
Amy: Actually, it just says, "watching kids."

Tate: Here's what I'm gonna need. I'll need a 40% salary bump, access to a company car... Does the position come with stock options?
Glenn: Um...
Tate: You know what, let me answer that. The position will be coming with stock options.

Myrtle: When I was a teenager, I crashed my father's Hudson Super and blamed it on a Chinese.
Amy: Okay, um, and what about your three greatest weaknesses?

Sal: This one's eyes are dead, but this one's eyes are alive. What do you call her?
Glenn: Oh, her name is...
Amy: Do not tell him her name.
Glenn: Okay.

Tate: Nope... [imitates buzzer] offer's off the table. You blew it.
Glenn: Oh, I knew it.
Amy: Oh, well, so sad. Thanks for coming in anyway.
Tate: But it's your lucky day. I'm gonna give you one more chance. Now my demands are doubled. Okay... ten, nine...
Glenn: Agh!

Glenn: Maybe your standards are too high. I mean, we're a retail department store. We're not hiring the King of England here.
Amy: I just don't want to hire someone who's gonna make our daily lives miserable.
Glenn: Amy, come have a look out the window with me. You know, in times of crisis, good people do what needs to be done, and... [Amy walks to the door] Amy! Are you leaving or just peeing?
Amy: Leaving.
Glenn: Okay. Just wanted to know if I should wait.

Dina: I can't believe we reuse this stuff. Doesn't seem sanitary.
Cheyenne: Well, there's usually not so much blood on them.
Dina: Well, even a little bit of blood...
Cheyenne: There's never any blood!
Jonah: Hey, can I talk to you for a second... privately?
Dina: Yeah, you can talk to me whatever way you like. Step into my office.
Jonah: Okay.

Mateo: [raps] Housewares, groceries, and sporting goods I know all the departments like a manager should
Garrett: Good. More street.
Mateo: Time cards, schedules, have I got your attention 'Cause I wanna talk to y'all about Loss Prevention Mateo for Assistant Manager! Mew mew mew. Peace!
Garrett: I think you can go bigger.

Dina: Everything's awkward in the beginning, you know? When you're still getting to know someone...
Jonah: Maybe if I sort by date.
Dina: Before you've even kissed. Just one second. Maybe we should just get that part out of the way.
Jonah: What part?
Dina: This part.
Jonah: Uh... [Dina kisses Jonah]
Dina: Oh, your teeth taste so good.
Jonah: Thank y... [drops phone]
Jonah: [on recording] Dina, I'm so sorry, but I don't have the same feelings for you that you do for-
Jonah: Oh, I'm sorry.
Jonah: [on recording] I felt like I needed to tell you before either of us did anything that we regret..
Jonah: I'm... that wasn't... I'm so sorry... I gave you the wrong imprison.
Dina: That phone has a really good speaker on it.

Jonah: I should say something to her.
Garrett: But you just broke up with the lady over voice memo. Maybe just let her chill out for a little bit.
Jonah: You know what? I'm not leaving it like this.
Garrett: Whoa, whoa, hey, hey, no, no, no, don't... [over PA] Attention, shoppers: Are you about to do something you might regret? We here at Cloud 9 encourage you to reconsider. Just ask yourself, "Am I doing this to help someone else or to make myself feel better?"