Sandra: Oh, what if we took turns teaching dumb kids to read?
Cheyenne: Mm.
Sayid: Ooh, that's good. Or prison reform.
Jonah: Okay, again, um, sorry, none of my business, but, uh, wondering if maybe your scope is getting a little wide.
Mateo: Look who hates prison reform.
Marcus: I'm actually with Jonah on this one. I've been to prison, and honestly, it's perfect as is.

Glenn: And Jesus put forth his hand and the leper was cured. So what miracles have you experienced in your lives? And please, nobody say their kids, okay?
Sandra: One time, I saw Lily Tomlin in an airport. I mean, it looked like her. I don't know.

Amy: Hey, what's going on over here?
Glenn: Oh, nothing. Just having a little employee Bible study. Would you care to join us? You could probably use some guidance.
Amy: Ha-ha, well, can't we all?
Glenn: Mm-hmm.
Amy: But, uh, no. Unfortunately, there's no religious gatherings allowed during company time, so everyone has to get back to work.
Glenn: Wow. So first Amy throws a man of the cloth out of the store, and now we're not even allowed to talk about the Bible.
Earl: And we can't say "Merry Christmas" anymore.
Glenn: Shut up, Earl. This isn't about that.

Amy: Glenn, can we speak privately, please?
Glenn: I don't know. Can we?
Amy: Okay. Glenn, I know you're having some issues with not being in charge anymore, and so you're lashing out at me. And I'm trying to be very cool about it, but I can't keep doing that because it makes me look bad, so I am asking you politely. Please knock it off. Okay?
Glenn: Fine. But I have three minutes left on my break. Am I allowed to talk about anything?
Amy: Yes. Obviously you can talk.
Glenn: Fine. I'm gonna talk about, um... John Cusack.
Amy: Knock yourself out.
Glenn: Because John Cusack died for our sins, which is why we worship John Cusack, King of the Jews.
Amy: Okay, that is it, Glenn! You need to stop being a whiny, snotty little baby man and get back to work, or I'm going to write you up! Do you understand me? I said, "Do you understand me?"
Glenn: [mumbles] Yes.
Amy: What?
Glenn: Yes. I said yes.
Amy: Good.

Sandra: I liked High Fidelity, but I'm not sure how it holds up post MeToo.

Jonah: How is this doing anything? They're just posing for selfies and then congratulating themselves.
Garrett: Yeah, dude. That's what Instagram is.
Jonah: It's just dumb.
Garrett: Hmm. It almost seems like you want to be in charge.
Jonah: That's not what I meant.
Garrett: Look, man, I get it. It's hard. One day you're on top of the world, winning Grammys, performing Live Aid, forcing your music onto people's iPhones-
Jonah: I'm not Bono!

Jonah: I get that there's value to spreading awareness and getting the word out. I'm not opposed to that, but that can't just be all you do. That's just posturing. You know, there's there's the kind of people who do things, and then there's the kind of people who talk about doing things.
Amy: And you're both of those?
Jonah: Exactly. Well...

Amy: Come on, Glenn. Don't make me send this in. Just- It's not too late. Please? Look, just tell me that this is never gonna happen again and we can forget the whole thing. [Glenn crosses his arms] [sighs] Okay. "Submit." Ugh. It's not going through.
Glenn: Stinks for you up the wazoo.
Amy: What is wrong with this thing?
Glenn: Are you logged in as Admin?
Amy: Yes, obviously.
Glenn: Well, sometimes it helps to uncheck all the boxes and then check them again. I don't know why it does that.
Amy: You mean, like, clear all or manually uncheck each box?
Glenn: No, I mean like- Okay, well, first of all, you got the wrong violation from the pull down menu.
Amy: What? I thought I selected the right one.
Glenn: Yeah, but sometimes if you hit a key it accidentally resets. Just start over.
Amy: Okay.
Glenn: [types] "Glenn Sturgis."

Amy: What do you do when an employee wants to change their emergency contact info?
Glenn: Don't tell me. Justine's fighting with her mom again?
Amy: Yes. They have a really complicated relationship.
Glenn: They are the strangest pair. Have you met her sisters?
Amy: No.
Glenn: They are-
Amy: Don't tell me Justine's the normal one.
Glenn: No, Justine's the normal one.

Glenn: He's my pastor and friend. Well, friend first, pastor second.
Pastor Craig: Well, pastor first and foremost.
Glenn: Yeah, 50/50. Anyway, this is Amy and Mateo. Amy's divorced and recently had a child out of wedlock.
Amy: Yep.
Glenn: And Mateo's gay, but not in a way that defines him.
Pastor Craig: Oh, hallelujah.
Glenn: Don't worry. Pastor Craig is one of those cool pastors who's down with all the gay stuff.
Pastor Craig: That's probably not how I would have phrased that, but hey, I did enjoy The Birdcage.
Mateo: It was an important film.