Amy: Oh, wow, cute car seat. Most moms are afraid to buy this one because of the safety issues, but I love it.
Woman: What safety issues?
Amy: Oh, you don't know? Well, just that, like, in an accident, it's prone to, um, what's the word... crumpling? It's kind of a mess. They they found babies just littered on the pavement. Sometimes they're just lying there inside out.
Woman: Oh, my God. Are they dead?
Amy: Well, they're inside out, so I hope so. But if that makes you uncomfortable, you could always return this one for a safer car seat.
Woman: Oh, no, it's fine. It's just a gift for my stupid neighbor.

Jonah: Okay, well, I have an idea. You're probably gonna hate it.
Amy: Love that confidence.
Jonah: I'm making you a baby shower registry.
Amy: Ew. God, no. I hate baby showers. I hate the the stupid games and the the dumb decorations and people touching your belly, saying, "Oh, my God. You're so big." as if that's a thing you're allowed to say to people, which it's not.
Jonah: Okay, well, I'm not saying you actually have the baby shower, but if you create a registry, then tomorrow when your "baby shower" is over, you can get everything on the registry for 20% off.
Amy: No, that's not gonna work. Yeah, what if... Hmm. There's a small chance this might be a good idea.
Jonah: Right? Plus, you get the little welcome box with the diapers and the wipes and stuff all free.
Amy: Damn it. I really want to hate this idea, but I'm into it.
Jonah: I know. I'm sorry.
Amy: [sighs] So annoying.

Cheyenne: Amy, why didn't you tell me you were having a baby shower?
Amy: What? No, I'm- I'm not.
Cheyenne: Then why did your registry pop up on the system? It says your shower's today.
Sandra: Here's your complimentary gift box. [drops box]
Jonah: Hmm. It's smaller than I thought it'd be.

Justine: Wait, Amy's having a baby shower?
Sandra: Mm-hmm.
Justine: Why wasn't I invited?
Cheyenne: None of us were.
Jonah: Okay, look, what happened was, I actually had a really smart idea.
Cheyenne: Okay, please, I find that hard to believe.

Amy: Why can't I just delete the registry?
Jonah: Tap- Tap the screen harder. That'll do it. I have another idea, and there's a chance you may not love it.
Amy: Oh, I don't see how that could possibly be true.
Jonah: What if you did have a baby shower? I'm not saying some big, elaborate party, okay? Just, like, a quick ten-minute thing in the break room: no games, no belly touching, no one feels excluded, and you get a bunch of gifts.
Amy: Well, obviously I like the gifts part. The gifts part is not the problem.
Jonah: How much is that Pack 'n Play? 80? Eh, I guess that's not that bad.
Amy: [scoffs] Well, I mean, at this point, it feels like people would be disappointed if I didn't have the shower.
Jonah: This party-loving group? For sure.
Amy: And, really, who am I to take a party away from them?
Jonah: You're a good friend.
Amy: Yeah.

Amy: It was just gonna be a small thing with family, so I didn't want to tell anybody, but then I realized that you guys are like my second family.
Cheyenne: Aw, like the one that my dad has.
Amy: Kind of. Yeah.

Jonah: Just have it say, uh, "congrats on the baby."
Baker: You have five bucks? I can do curses for you.
Jonah: I-I think just, uh, what I said is good.

Mateo: [shouts over fan] Let me know if this is too much!
Dina: No, it's good! I feel like I'm European!
Mateo: What?
Dina: I'm having a really good time with you!
Mateo: Okay.

Mateo: This really has nothing to do with Christmas, but it's very important to me that we do this. [camera beeps, shutter clicks]
Garrett: Hey, what's up, Dina? I need you to sign this, uh...
Dina: Sign what?
Garrett: What?
Mateo: Garrett, please. This is a hot set!
Garrett: Oh, yeah. No, I know. It's just... Yeah, I'm gonna I'm cool.
Mateo: Garrett!
Garrett: Huh? Oh, yeah. No worries, I'm out of here. [backs into scenery] Oh. [clatter] [chuckles] All right, well, I'll see y'all later. [chuckles] Hang ten.

Amy: Just something small, huh?
Jonah: I felt guilty. You know I have too much empathy.
Amy: Jerusha's friends are the creepiest. Don't you remember the shrimp boil? There was all that mouth kissing.
Jonah: There was.
Amy: Yeah.