Jerry: [on the phone] So did you figure out Darryl's you know?
Elaine: Eh, I've given up. So now we're going to a bunch of Spanish restaurants. Figure that'll cover us either way.
Jerry: You're a master of race relations.

George: [on the phone] Jerry, why is Elaine getting your mail?
Jerry: George, listen to me. I have a very important job for you. I want you to come by twice a day and flush the toilet so the gaskets don't dry out and leak.
Elaine: What?
George: Well, what about the mail?
Jerry: This is far more important. You must exercise the gaskets, George.
George: All right, Jerry, I'll do it. See you.

Caucasian Waitress: Coffee?
Darryl: Sure.
Caucasian Waitress: Are you black? Or should I bring some cream?
Darryl: I'm black. Oh, you know what? Bring a little cream.
Man: [to his wife] Look at that.
Darryl: Did you hear that?
Elaine: What?
Darryl: God, there are still people who have trouble with an interracial couple.
Elaine: Interracial? Us?
Darryl: Isn't that unbelievable?
Elaine: Yes. It's awful. They're upset because we're an interracial couple. That is racism.
Darryl: I don't feel like eating.
Elaine: Uh, me neither. Well, maybe this turkey club.

Helen Seinfeld: Have you read today's Boca Breeze?
Kramer: Hey, look at that. Picture of me, huh? Yeah, "Candidate Cosmo Kramer, caught barefoot in clubhouse."
Morty Seinfeld: Barefoot in the clubhouse? Kramer, don't you realize this is against the rules?
Kramer: Well, I couldn't find my shoes.
Jerry: These people work and wait their whole lives to move down here, sit in the heat, pretend it's not hot,
and enforce these rules.

Morty Seinfeld: This is a huge scandal. We need damage control.
Kramer: All right, look, people seem to like those tip calculators.
Jerry: Wizards.
Kramer: Yeah, well, how about if we give one out to every member on the condo board?
Jerry: Kramer.
Morty Seinfeld: There are 20 people on the board. Thank God you can get that deal.
Kramer: Payoffs. Now we're playing politics. All right, what do we do next, Morty, huh? Wiretaps? Slush funds?
Morty Seinfeld: First I need a nap.
Helen Seinfeld: I'll get your electric blanket.

Elaine: Long day?
African-American Waitress: Yeah, I just worked a triple shift.
Elaine: I hear you, sister.
African-American Waitress: Sister?
Elaine: Yeah. It's okay. My boyfriend's black. Here he is. See?
Darryl: Hi, Elaine.
African-American Waitress: He's black?
Elaine: Yeah.
Darryl: I'm black?
Elaine: Aren't you?
African-American Waitress: I'll give you a couple of minutes to decide.

Darryl: What are you talking about?
Elaine: You're black. You said we were an interracial couple.
Darryl: We are because you're Hispanic.
Elaine: I am?
Darryl: Aren't you?
Elaine: No. Why would you think that?
Darryl: Your name's Benes. Your hair. And you kept taking me to those Spanish restaurants.
Elaine: That's because I thought you were black.
Darryl: Why would you take me to a Spanish restaurant because I'm black?
Elaine: I don't think we should be talking about this.

Kramer: Well, that's it for me. I'm heading back to New York.
Jerry: Dad, I'm sorry.
Morty Seinfeld: You should be. How could you spend $200 on a tip calculator?
Jerry: It does other things!