Jerry: [on the phone] Hello, Lena? Hi, it's Jerry Seinfeld. How did I get your number? Oh, I met a guy that knows you, he gave it to me. I don't remember his name. I think it began with a W, maybe a Q. I wasn't paying that much attention, I'd just come from shopping for a speedboat...

Elaine: Well, Kramer was right. My friend Kim told me the Sponge is off the market.
Jerry: So what are you gonna do?
Elaine: I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna do a hard-target search. Of every drug store, general store, health store and grocery store in a 25-block radius.

George: Just for these Sponges?
Elaine: Hey man, women are really loyal to their birth control methods. What does Susan use?
George: I dunno.
Elaine: You don't know?
George: I, uh, figure it's something.

Jerry: What are you all out of breath from?
Kramer: [panting] The elevator just broke. I had to walk up five flights.
Jerry: And you got the AIDS walk tomorrow. You're never gonna make it, you're in horrible shape.
Kramer: Hey, I'm in tip-top shape. Better than you!
Jerry: I got a 31 waist, mister!
Kramer: Yeah, well I'm walking for charity. What are you doing?
Jerry: What am I doing? I'm dating a woman who happens to be sponsoring one of these walkers.

Jerry: Hey, I have found the best-smelling detergent. Lena, smell my shirt.
Lena: Mmm! Very nice.
Jerry: It's All TempaCheer.
Lena: I use Planet. It's bio-degradable and doesn't pollute the oceans.
George: Yeah, the oceans really are getting very sudsy. [chuckles]

Lena: Can you wrap up all the left-overs on the table, please? I always take the left-overs. I work in a soup kitchen every morning at 6 a.m.
Jerry: They serve soup at 6 a.m.?
Lena: Yeah. That's all they have.
Jerry: Do the bums ever complain, "Soup again?"
George: I'd get tired of it.
Jerry: How could you not?

Lena: Guess who volunteered last week?
George: Mick Jagger.
Lena: No. Maya Angelou.
Susan Ross: Oh, the poet.
Jerry: So, let me ask you something. These people eat soup three times a day?
Lena: I don't know.
Susan Ross: So, did you get to talk to her?
Lena: Talk to who?
Jerry: Is it a lot of cream soups?
Susan Ross: Maya Angelou, the poet.
Lena: No, I didn't get the chance.

Susan Ross: Jerry got her phone number off of an AIDS walk list? Oh, that's awful.
George: I know, but don't say anything to anyone. He told me not to tell you.
Susan Ross: But you told me anyway?
George: Well, you know, I was thinking about what you said before, and... you're right, I've never really been a couple, so if that's the rule, then I'm gonna go by the rule.

Susan Ross: You don't know what I use for birth control, do you?
George: Of course I do.
Susan Ross: You do? What?
George: You know. You use the, uh... [mumbles]
Susan Ross: The what?
George: You know, the uh... [coughs, mumbles]
Susan Ross: Just get me some Sponges, please.
George: Wait. Wait a minute. They don't have them anymore. I just found out, they just took them off the market.
Susan Ross: Off the market? The Sponge?
George: Yeah, so you gotta use something else.
Susan Ross: I can't! I love the Sponge! I need the Sponge!
George: Okay. I think I know where we can get one.

Jerry: How'd you find out?
Lena: A friend of a friend of a friend of Susan's.
Jerry: George!