Frank Costanza: What do you mean you felt the material? What, with your fingers like this?
George: So what? What is so bad about that?
Estelle Costanza: Who goes around feeling people's material? What can be gained by feeling a person's material? It's insanity!
Frank Costanza: What ever happened to, "Why, that's a lovely dress you have on. May I have this dance?"!

[stand-up:]
Jerry: To me, government is basically parents for adults. Especially the IRS. The IRS is like Ward and June Cleaver. And we are all Wally and the Beaver. And your accountant is Eddie Haskill showing you all these neat tricks to get away with stuff. Which is fine, unless you get audited. Then you don't want some wise guy in a suit standing there going, "You have a very lovely officer here, sir." Because jail is the government's way of sending you to your room. And when you meet Whitey and Lumpy in the joint... There's really going to be something wrong with the Beaver.

Jerry: So, how did you meet him?
Elaine: In the office.
Jerry: So, he's a writer.
Elaine: Yeah.
Jerry: Yeah, big surprise.
Elaine: So, I was sitting at the reception desk, I was looking pretty hot. I was wearing my sling back pumps.
George: What are those?
Elaine: Ask your mother. You live with her now, don't you?

Elaine: Anyway, so then this guy comes up to me and starts feeling my jacket through his thumb and his forefinger like this.
Jerry: So, what did you do?
Elaine: I said: "So, what do you think?". And he said, "Gabardine?". And I said, "Yeah." That was it.
George: Wow, just felt your material?
Elaine: Yeah. Jake Jarmel.
George: Sounds like a cool guy.
Jerry: Sounds like a jerk. Felt your material, come on.

Jerry: Hey, Barry, how you doing? This is my friend George.
Barry: Hi, George.
Elaine: Hi .What are you doing on this neighborhood?
Barry: Nothing really. [sniffs] You, uh, you eat here?
Jerry: Yeah, so how's my money?
Barry: Still green. [sniffs]
Jerry: What, you got a cold?
Barry: No, no.
Elaine: Wow, look at that ring.
Barry: Oh, you like that? [sniffs] Say, where's the bathroom?
Jerry: Bathroom? Bathroom is right over there.

Jerry: Did you see that?
Elaine: See what?
George: Yes, I saw that.
Jerry: What was all that sniffing?
Elaine: I don't know.
Jerry: You don't think...?
Elaine: Oh, no! Come on Jerry.
George: He was definitely sniffing.
Jerry: I mean what if, what if, this this guy has got all my money. Plus he has got some Kramer's money with him. This guy can write checks to himself right out of my account.
Elaine: No, I have known this guy since college. He doesn't do drugs.
Jerry: Then, what was all that sniffing?
Elaine: Maybe it's the cold weather.
Jerry: Today's not cold.

Frank Costanza: So, I talked to Phil Kassikof today.
Estelle Costanza: Phil Kassikof?
Frank Costanza: Yeah, you know my friend, the bra salesman. He says they're looking to maybe put somebody on, so I got you an interview next Friday with his boss.
George: Next Friday? What time?
Frank Costanza: 2 o'clock.
George: That's my whole afternoon! I was going to look for sneakers.
Frank Costanza: You can look for sneakers the next day!

Frank Costanza: You don't even know what they're made from.
George: They are made from Lycra spandex.
Frank Costanza: Get out of here! Lycra spandex?
Estelle Costanza: I think they are made from Lycra spandex.
Frank Costanza: Wanna bet? How much you wanna bet?
Estelle Costanza: I'm not betting!
Frank Costanza: Take a look.
Estelle Costanza: All right, I'll get a bra.
Frank Costanza: I don't know what the big problem is getting a bra?!

Kramer: Anything new on that guy on drugs?
Elaine: Ugh. He's not on drugs.
Kramer: Then why the sniffing? Who walks around [sniffs] sniffing?

Elaine: Okay, gentlemen. The fact remains you still have no proof. This is all speculation and hearsay.
Kramer: Wait, there is one way to find out. We set up a sting. You know like Abscam. Like Abscam, Jerry.
Elaine: Oh, what are you gonna do? You gonna put on a phony beard and dress-up like Arab sheiks and sit around in some hotel room. I mean, come on...
Jerry: Wait a second. Maybe there is someway we can tempt him and find out.
Newman: If we put our three heads together we should come up with something.