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The Sniffing Accountant

‘The Sniffing Accountant’

Season 5, Episode 4 -  Aired October 7, 1993

Jerry and Kramer are concerned that their accountant is using drugs when he keeps on sniffing. Meanwhile, George's father gets him a job interview at a bra company.

Quote from Kramer

Newman: Hey, you know this is kind of fun.
Kramer: Yeah, maybe we ought to become private detectives.
Jerry: Yeah, maybe you should.
Kramer: Maybe I will.
Newman: Yeah, me too.


Quote from Jerry

Jerry: All right, what are you gonna say to him?
Kramer: Just gonna find out if he's interested.
Newman: Hey, hey maybe I should go with him?
Jerry: No, you stay in the car.
Newman: Who made you the leader?
Jerry: All right, Newman. One more peep out of you and you're out of the whole operation!

Quote from Jerry

Newman: I've should've gone in with him.
Jerry: No, you stay here in the car. I may need you.
Newman: What you need me in the car for?
Jerry: I might need you to get me a soda.

Quote from George

[After George's interview with Mr. Farkus, George leaves his office and goes to the elevator. A woman is there waiting. George looks over and feels her jacket's fabric]
Ellen: What do you think you're doing?
George: Uh, nothing. Why?|
Ellen: Farkus, get out here!
Farkus: Yes, Ms. De Granmont?
Elaine: Farkus, who is this perverted little weasel?
Farkus: This is Costanza. He's our new bra salesman. He's supposed to start on Monday.
Elaine: If he's here on Monday, you're not. Take your pick.
Farkus: [to George] Get out!

Quote from Kramer

Jerry: "Dear Barry. Consider this letter the official termination of our relationship effective immediately."
Kramer: Exclamation point.
Elaine: You still have no proof.
Kramer: Elaine, he was sniffing like crazy around me.
Elaine: You still have no proof.
Kramer: Elaine, he was sniffing like crazy around me.
Jerry: "I will expect all funds in form of cashier checks no later than the 18th."
Kramer: Double exclamation point!

Quote from Jerry

Kramer: What's the matter? You've got a cold?
Ralph: No. Kramer, what is this?
Kramer: It's a sweater.
Ralph: What is it made out of?
Kramer: I don't know. Jerry gave it to me.
Jerry: Mohair, I think.
Ralph: Mohair, that figures. I'm allergic to mohair.
Jerry: You mean you just started sniffing?
Ralph: Yeah. Mohair does it to me every time. [exits]
Jerry: I was wearing that sweater in the coffee shop when Barry came in.
Kramer: Jerry, I was wearing it in the bar.
Elaine: The sweater! The sweater made him sniff! See, I told you he wasn't a drug addict.
Jerry: Oh no! The letter, Newman, it's got exclamation points all over it!
Kramer: Not to mention the picture of him on the toilet.
[Jerry leaves and comes back a second later]
Jerry: The what?!

Quote from Jerry

Jerry: It's a letter from your friend Barry Prophet's lawyer.
Elaine: He is filing a Chapter 11. Why, what's going on, why is he filing a Chapter 11?
Jerry: Bankruptcy. Bankruptcy. As in I've taken your money and spent it on drugs!
Elaine: What do you mean? I thought it was the sweater.
Kramer: All right, What about the money?
Jerry: What about the money? Apparently, if I had dissolved my relationship with him prior to his filing chapter 11, I've could've got the money back. Which I would've done, if for certain imbecile had been able to get to a mailbox and mail a letter!

Quote from Elaine

Jerry: So, does he like you?
Elaine: What do you think?
Jerry: You like him?
Elaine: Yeah. Yeah, like him. Definitely like him. I like him a lot.
George: What's wrong with him?
Elaine: Nothing, and I've looked.
George: Well, I'm sure you'll find something.

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