Restaurateur: What do you mean, "stunk up"?
Jerry: I mean the car stinks! George, does the car stink?
George: Stinks.
Jerry: Stinks!
Restaurateur: Well, perhaps you're the one who has the odor.
Jerry: Hey, I've never smelled in my life, buddy!
Restaurateur: Really? Well, I smell you now.
Jerry: That's from the car!
Restaurateur: Well, maybe you're the one who stunk up the car, rather than the car stinking up you!
George: Oh, it's the chicken and the egg.
Jerry: Thank you very much. Well, then go out and smell the car; see which smells worse.
Restaurateur: I don't have time to smell cars.
George: Forget about smelling the car. Smell the valet. Go to the source.
Jerry: You've gotta smell the car.
Restaurateur: I'm a busy man
Jerry: Come on! One whiff!
Restaurateur: All right, one whiff.

Restaurateur: All right, I give up! I admit it! It stinks! Now will you let me out!
Jerry: All right, will you pay for the cleaning?
Restaurateur: Yes! 50 dollars! I'll give you 50 dollars!
Jerry: 50 dollars? I don't think that's gonna cover it.
Restaurateur: Whatever you want. I'll give you whatever you want.
Jerry: I want half, 125.
Restaurateur: Yes! Yes! 125 is good. Now could you please open the door!
Jerry: All right.
Restaurateur: Let me out of here.

George: Oh, my God.
Jerry: What?
George: The video! Someone stole the video right out the car.
Jerry: Someone stole "Rochelle Rochelle"?
Restaurateur: Well, you left the window open.
Jerry: We had to air out the car.
George: You should pay for that.
Restaurateur: I'm not paying for that. They already got my seven dollars. [sarcastically] "...erotic journey from Milan to Minsk".

Carl: The valet had such bad B.O.?
Elaine: Oh, man, just rampant, mutant B.O. The "O" went from the valet's "B", to the car, to me. It clings to everything. Jerry thinks it's an entity. But I showered and I shampoo'ed, so...
Carl: That's a relief. [hugs Elaine, recoils]
Elaine: What?
Carl: It's still there.
Elaine: No, no, no! It can't be! I shampoo'ed! I rinsed! I repeated! I don't smell anything. Here, take another smell.
Carl: No. No. No. Please.

George: Listen, I gotta ask you. I was a little concerned that perhaps I was responsible in some way for your, uh... metamorphosis.
Clerk: That'll be $98.00.
George: What $98.00?
Clerk: That's what I said. $98.00.
George: How could that piece of crap cost $98.00!?
Susan Ross: George, I really have to-
George: Do you believe this? $98?! Do you have any cash?
Susan Ross: I guess.
George: I need, like, $35. Thanks.
George: So, was it me?
Susan Ross: Oh, don't be ridiculous! Is that what you wanted to talk to me about? [gives him $35] Here.
George: Oh, thanks. Thanks a lot. I'll pay you back.
Susan Ross: Yeah, sure. I gotta go.

George: Listen. Let me ask you something. If you and Mona were ever to... dance, how do you decide who leads? I mean, do you take turns? Do you discuss it beforehand? How does that work?
Susan Ross: You're an idiot.
George: Why? That's a legitimate sociological question.
Susan Ross: I'll see you. Oh, and George, by the way, you stink. You need a bath.
George: It's not me. It's the car!

George: I know what you're going through. Women. Who knows what they want?
Susan Ross: Well, I just don't know what she sees in Kramer.
George: Listen, you're beautiful. You're intelligent. You'll meet other girls.
Susan Ross: You think so?
George: Yes, I know so. You happen to be a very eligible lesbian.
Susan Ross: You're very sweet.
George: Hey, I know what I'm talking about. I gotta be honest with you, I gotta tell you... Ever since I saw you holding hands with that woman, I can't get you out of my mind.
Susan Ross: Really?
George: Yeah, you're just so... hip.

George: Oh, my God.
Susan Ross: What?
George: It's Allison. I dated her right after you. She's obsessed with me.
Allison: George?
George: Allison! Hi! Oh, my God! How are you?
Allison: Good. You know, you owe me $50.
George: Fifty dollars. Right, right. I don't have it on me. Allison, this is Susan. Susan, Allison.
Allison: Nice to meet you.
Susan Ross: Nice to meet you.
Allison: That's a beautiful vest.
Susan Ross: Thank you.

Kramer: I don't understand it. I was with her last night in my apartment; it was very romantic. You know, with that fake wood wallpaper, the atmosphere is fabulous in there, now. It's like a ski lodge.
Salesman: What year did you say this was?
Jerry: '90.
Kramer: Anyway, we were on the couch, I move to hug her, next thing she tells me she's leaving; she's got to get up early.
Jerry: That's strange.
Salesman: How many miles you got on this thing?
Jerry: 23,000.
Kramer: And I was looking good, too. I had a nice, new shirt on, I'm wearing your jacket.
Jerry: Wait a second. My jacket! I wore that in the car! The Beast!
Salesman: [wretches, gets out of the car] I can't sell this car.
Jerry: This... thing... has got to be stopped!