Jerry Quote #708

Quote from Jerry in The Smelly Car

Restaurateur: What do you mean, "stunk up"?
Jerry: I mean the car stinks! George, does the car stink?
George: Stinks.
Jerry: Stinks!
Restaurateur: Well, perhaps you're the one who has the odor.
Jerry: Hey, I've never smelled in my life, buddy!
Restaurateur: Really? Well, I smell you now.
Jerry: That's from the car!
Restaurateur: Well, maybe you're the one who stunk up the car, rather than the car stinking up you!
George: Oh, it's the chicken and the egg.
Jerry: Thank you very much. Well, then go out and smell the car; see which smells worse.
Restaurateur: I don't have time to smell cars.
George: Forget about smelling the car. Smell the valet. Go to the source.
Jerry: You've gotta smell the car.
Restaurateur: I'm a busy man
Jerry: Come on! One whiff!
Restaurateur: All right, one whiff.

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 ‘The Smelly Car’ Quotes

Quote from Jerry

[stand-up:]
Jerry: Whenever you ask for a doggy bag in a restaurant, there's a certain sense of failure there, isn't there? People always whisper it to the waiter, don't they? [quietly] "Uh, excuse me. I'm sorry, you're gonna have to give me the doggy bag. I couldn't make it." And it is embarrassing, because a doggie bag means either you are out at a restaurant when you aren't hungry, or you've chosen the stupidest possible way to get dog food that there is. How about the doggie bag on a date? That's a good move for a guy, huh? Let me tell you something: if you're a guy and you ask for the doggie bag on a date, you might as well have them just wrap up your genitals too. You're not going to be needing those for awhile, either.

Quote from Jerry

Jerry: It still smells!
George: How could it still smell after all that?
Jerry: I don't know!
George: Well, what are you gonna do?
Jerry: I'll tell you what I'm gonna do, I'm selling that car!
George: You're selling the car!?
Jerry: You don't understand what I'm up against. This is a force more powerful than anything you can imagine. Even Superman would be helpless against this kind of stench. And I'll take anything I can get for it.
George: Maybe I'll buy it.
Jerry: Are you crazy? Don't you understand what I'm saying to you? This is not just an odor. You need a priest to get rid of this thing!
Elaine: [enters] I still smell!
Jerry: You see! You see what I'm saying to you? It's a presence! It's the beast!

Quote from Jerry

Jerry: Boy, do you smell something?
Elaine: Do I smell something? What am I, hard of smelling? Of course I smell something.
Jerry: What is it?
Elaine: I think it's B.O.!
Jerry: What?
Elaine: It's B.O. The valet must have had B.O.
Jerry: It can't be. Nobody has B.O. like this.
Elaine: Jerry. It's B.O.
Jerry: But the whole car smells.
Elaine: So?
Jerry: So when somebody has B.O., the "O" usually stays with the "B". Once the "B" leaves, the "O" goes with it.