George Quote #594

Quote from George in The Smelly Car

George: Listen, I gotta ask you. I was a little concerned that perhaps I was responsible in some way for your, uh... metamorphosis.
Clerk: That'll be $98.00.
George: What $98.00?
Clerk: That's what I said. $98.00.
George: How could that piece of crap cost $98.00!?
Susan Ross: George, I really have to-
George: Do you believe this? $98?! Do you have any cash?
Susan Ross: I guess.
George: I need, like, $35. Thanks.
George: So, was it me?
Susan Ross: Oh, don't be ridiculous! Is that what you wanted to talk to me about? [gives him $35] Here.
George: Oh, thanks. Thanks a lot. I'll pay you back.
Susan Ross: Yeah, sure. I gotta go.

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 ‘The Smelly Car’ Quotes

Quote from Jerry

[stand-up:]
Jerry: Whenever you ask for a doggy bag in a restaurant, there's a certain sense of failure there, isn't there? People always whisper it to the waiter, don't they? [quietly] "Uh, excuse me. I'm sorry, you're gonna have to give me the doggy bag. I couldn't make it." And it is embarrassing, because a doggie bag means either you are out at a restaurant when you aren't hungry, or you've chosen the stupidest possible way to get dog food that there is. How about the doggie bag on a date? That's a good move for a guy, huh? Let me tell you something: if you're a guy and you ask for the doggie bag on a date, you might as well have them just wrap up your genitals too. You're not going to be needing those for awhile, either.

Quote from Jerry

Jerry: It still smells!
George: How could it still smell after all that?
Jerry: I don't know!
George: Well, what are you gonna do?
Jerry: I'll tell you what I'm gonna do, I'm selling that car!
George: You're selling the car!?
Jerry: You don't understand what I'm up against. This is a force more powerful than anything you can imagine. Even Superman would be helpless against this kind of stench. And I'll take anything I can get for it.
George: Maybe I'll buy it.
Jerry: Are you crazy? Don't you understand what I'm saying to you? This is not just an odor. You need a priest to get rid of this thing!
Elaine: [enters] I still smell!
Jerry: You see! You see what I'm saying to you? It's a presence! It's the beast!

Quote from Jerry

Jerry: Boy, do you smell something?
Elaine: Do I smell something? What am I, hard of smelling? Of course I smell something.
Jerry: What is it?
Elaine: I think it's B.O.!
Jerry: What?
Elaine: It's B.O. The valet must have had B.O.
Jerry: It can't be. Nobody has B.O. like this.
Elaine: Jerry. It's B.O.
Jerry: But the whole car smells.
Elaine: So?
Jerry: So when somebody has B.O., the "O" usually stays with the "B". Once the "B" leaves, the "O" goes with it.