Jerry: Hey, look, wait a second, Kramer, turn that up.
Kramer: Okay.
[on TV news:]
Newscaster: Rudy Giuliani, who underwent a physical last week, received some startling news today when his cholesterol count turned out to be a whopping 375. What effect this will have on the
minds of the voters remains to be seen. In another development, Mayor Dinkins has fired his top advisor, Lloyd
Braun, who is believed to be responsible for the name tag fiasco. We now take you to Giuliani headquarters where Rudy Giuliani is about to make a statement.
Rudy Giuliani: It's hard to understand. Because I've been doing everything I normally do. I've been watching my diet very carefully. I exercise regularly. My only indulgence, I guess, would be that I eat a lot of frozen yogurt. But it's non-fat.
[in the apartment:]
Jerry: Non-fat yogurt? Oh, my god. They got Giuliani and he doesn't even know it.
Elaine: Now look what you've done.
Jerry: Well, we've got to do something. I'm calling Giuliani's headquarters.

Estelle Costanza: Quiet! Quiet! They're starting the news conference.
[on TV broadcast:]
Rudy Giuliani: My campaign staff has received some very disturbing information regarding the fat content in yogurt that's being sold throughout the city. I pledge to you now, that if I'm elected mayor, as my first order of business I'll appoint a special task force to investigate this matter. I promise you, my fellow New Yorkers, that Mayor Giuliani will do everything possible to cleanse this city of this falsified non-fat yogurt.

Jerry: The old yogurt was so much better. Oh, this is terrible.
George: Feh.
Elaine: Oh, it stinks.
Kramer: Mine, too. I got one more day.
Jerry: I can't eat this.
Newman: Hey, Jerry. Thanks a lot. I hope you're happy.
Jerry: It had fat in it, it's not good for you.
Newman: I don't care. It was good. I was enjoying it. Had to interfere. Couldn't leave well enough alone. Well, I will get even with you for this. You can count on it.

[stand-up:]
Jerry: There's nothing more fun than cursing when you're a kid. I mean, it's like getting the keys to the car, isn't it? You're doing something you're not supposed to do. And that's all you want. And there's nothing less fun than when you're an adult and having to use those wholesome curses. Fudge! Sugar! Consarnit! What the hell is "consarnit" anyway? I mean, you stub your toe and say "consarnit", you might as well say "Yipee!"

Lloyd: Oh, um, by the way, who was that gorgeous woman I saw you with the other day?
George: Oh, uh, just a friend of mine.
Estelle Costanza: You must mean Elaine. Isn't she adorable?
Lloyd: She is. She is. How about giving me her number?
George: Oh, you know, Lloyd, I really don't have it.
Estelle Costanza: She works at Pendant Publishing. Elaine Benes.
Lloyd: Oh, great. Thanks a lot!

[stand-up:]
Jerry: I had glasses when I was ten-years-old. Anyone beat that? Anybody get them younger than that?
Woman in audience: Seven.
Jerry: Seven? Two? Anybody born with glasses? Actually come out of the birth canal and go, "That was a hell of a delivery, I'll tell you that. Can I clean these? Does anybody have one of those little cloths? I was just born and they're a little smudgy."

Jerry: And it's non-fat!
George: See, how could this not have any fat? It's too good.
Elaine: You want to taste mine?
George: Oh, you want to taste mine.
Elaine: No, I don't.
George: Okay, if you want to taste mine, you don't have to offer me some of yours.
Elaine: All right, let's just forget it.

Jerry: You know, Kramer's going to clean up on this place.
George: What do you mean?
Jerry: He invested in it.
George: No kidding?
Jerry: Yeah. We've been coming here everyday. This is so [beep]ing good.
Maryedith: Jerry!
Jerry: Oh, I'm sorry.

Lloyd: Hey, George.
George: Hey, Lloyd. My friend Jerry.
Lloyd: So, I hear you're living back home now?
George: Yeah, there was a fire in my apartment.
Lloyd: Fire? Whoa. There's a lot of major chicks in this place, huh? [George elbows Jerry] Something wrong with your arm?
George: Uh, uh, yeah. Actually, the, uh, I bumped my elbow on a desk and injured something. And now it sort of moves involuntarily.
Lloyd: Wow, that's a bitch, huh? So, how are your parents doing?
George: Oh, pretty good. [elbows Jerry]
Lloyd: This place does some business, huh?
George: Yeah, this is my first time here. [elbows Jerry]

Kramer: So there were a lot of people there, huh?
Jerry: Oh, man. That yogurt place. You're going to make a fortune.
Kramer: Yeah.
Jerry: They're doing an incredible business.
Kramer: Yeah, well, I told you to go in on it.
Jerry: How did you know?
Kramer: Well, I tasted it at the one downtown. It's got a remarkable texture. You'd never know it was non-fat.