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The Non-Fat Yogurt

‘The Non-Fat Yogurt’

Season 5, Episode 7 - Aired November 4, 1993

Jerry and Elaine suspect that a new yogurt place Kramer supports is serving up full-fat yogurt as non-fat. Meanwhile, George gets trapped in a lie about an involuntary elbow nudge.

Quote from Jerry

Kramer: Hello, there.
Female Technician: Hello!
Kramer: Ooh! Test tubes. Cool!
Jerry: What do you got there?
Male Technician: Actually, this is Mr. Giuliani's blood. We're doing a cholesterol work up on it.
Jerry: Oh.

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Quote from Kramer

Kramer: You want a taste? It's Cappuccino.
Female Technician: It's delicious.
Kramer: I hear you.
Female Technician: Non-fat?
Kramer: Well, you tell me. Is the verdict in yet?
Female Technician: No.
Kramer: Well, this is in case there's a tie! [kisses her]

Quote from Elaine

Elaine: Well, as far as I know, he bumped his arm into a door and it's kind of got this involuntarily movement. Some sort of a spasm. So, anyway, you're a big advisor to Dinkins, huh?
Lloyd: Yeah, yeah. It's coming right down to the wire.
Elaine: Wow! You know what I would do if I was running for mayor. One of my campaign themes would be that everybody should wear name tags all the time to make the city friendlier.
Lloyd: Name tags, hmm?
Elaine: Well, everybody would know everybody. It would be like a small town.
Lloyd: Maybe I'll mention that to him.
Elaine: Really? Wow!

Quote from Elaine

Lloyd: You sure you don't want any yogurt?
Elaine: No, I'm watching my weight.
Lloyd: Well, it's non-fat.
Elaine: Yeah, so they say.

Quote from Elaine

Elaine: Three days and he hasn't called me, and you know why? Because he thinks I'm too fat.
Jerry: He said that?
Elaine: No, but I saw the look on his face when he put his arm around me. And then we went to his apartment, and I sat on one of his chairs and it broke. And he says, "Boy, you're a lot of woman!"

Quote from Jerry

Jerry: Well, the yogurt verdict is in. Fat!
Kramer: Yah.

Quote from Jerry

Elaine: Jerry, come on, look. Let's go over to that yogurt store.
Jerry: Look, Elaine, I've been thinking about this. This has got to be a massive conspiracy. Who knows how deep it goes.

Quote from George

George: Name tags! Name tags! What kind of an idiot thinks anybody would be interested in an idea like that?
Frank Costanza: I don't think it's so bad. People should wear name tags. Everyone would be a lot friendlier. "Hello, Sam." "How are you doing, Joe?" [George elbows a lamp] Hey, your arm. It moved again. I thought you said it went away.
George: I banged it on the desk in the doctor's office. And... And... [whimpers]

Quote from Jerry

Elaine: Hey, you guys, listen to this. Listen to this. "Apparently some blood spilled into Mr. Giuliani's test tube causing his cholesterol count to be 150 points higher than was initially reported. Ironically, the mishap by bringing the non-fat yogurt scandal to the attention of the public, probably clinched the election for the Republican. It was the one issue which seemed to electrify the voters and swept Giuliani into office."
Jerry: So, in effect, the yogurt won him the election.
Elaine: I wonder what actually happened in that lab.
Kramer: Yeah, me, too.
Newman: I can't eat this.
Matthew: Thanks for ruining my daddy's business, you fat [beep]!

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