Jerry Quote #829
Quote from Jerry in The Non-Fat Yogurt
Jerry: Hey, look, wait a second, Kramer, turn that up.
Kramer: Okay.
[on TV news:]
Newscaster: Rudy Giuliani, who underwent a physical last week, received some startling news today when his cholesterol count turned out to be a whopping 375. What effect this will have on the
minds of the voters remains to be seen. In another development, Mayor Dinkins has fired his top advisor, Lloyd
Braun, who is believed to be responsible for the name tag fiasco. We now take you to Giuliani headquarters where Rudy Giuliani is about to make a statement.
Rudy Giuliani: It's hard to understand. Because I've been doing everything I normally do. I've been watching my diet very carefully. I exercise regularly. My only indulgence, I guess, would be that I eat a lot of frozen yogurt. But it's non-fat.
[in the apartment:]
Jerry: Non-fat yogurt? Oh, my god. They got Giuliani and he doesn't even know it.
Elaine: Now look what you've done.
Jerry: Well, we've got to do something. I'm calling Giuliani's headquarters.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Non-Fat Yogurt’ Quotes
Quote from George
George: So, he made an appointment for me to see Dinkins' doctor. He's just trying to humiliate me.
Jerry: Uh-huh.
George: And I have to go. If I don't go, he'll know I'm lying.
Jerry: Well, so, what are you going to do? Sit in the doctor's office doing this? He's going to think you're a mental patient.
George: I don't care. Look, Lloyd doesn't know what he's up against. This is nothing to me. My whole life is a lie!
Quote from Newman
Newman: Well, I wouldn't hear of it. I said, "Nice try, granny!" And I sent her to the back of the line! [laughs]
Jerry: Hello, Newman.
Newman: Hello, Jerry. Say, this yogurt is really something, huh? And it's non-fat. I've been waiting for something like this my whole life. And it's finally here!
Quote from George
George: The next morning, I woke up, and it was going like this. I can control it if I really concentrate. But otherwise, oh!
Doctor: Yes, well, I'm going to have to be perfectly honest with you.
George: Please, doctor.
Doctor: I've examined you.
George: Yes.
Doctor: I've looked at your X-rays.
George: Uh-huh.
Doctor: And I find that there's absolutely nothing wrong with you.
George: Hmm. Really? Nothing?
Doctor: Nothing that would indicate involuntary spasms.
George: Well, it's kind of a mystery, isn't it?
Doctor: No, not really.
George: How so?
Doctor: May I suggest the possibility that you're faking?
George: Faking? What makes you think that I have time to see doctors, take X-rays, make appointments, when there's absolutely nothing wrong with me? What kind of a person would do a thing like that?
Doctor: I don't know what kind of a person would do something like that. Obviously a very sick person. A very immature person. A person who has no regard for wasting other people's valuable time. Good-bye.
George: Now, see here, doctor.
Doctor: I said, good-bye.
George: Fine. [stands up, hits elbow on table] Ow!