Kramer: Well, what am I gonna do? I got over two hundred folding chairs, and quite a bit of ice.
Newman: What kind?
Kramer: Cubed.
Newman: That's good stuff, and you can never have too much ice. All right, I'll tell you what I'll do. You can co-host the party with me, under one condition. No Jerry. Jerry is not invited.
Kramer: I gotta invite Jerry. He's my buddy.
Newman: That he may be. But he's outta my life, starting in the year 2000. For me, the next millennium must be Jerry-free!

George: You wanted to see me, sir?
Mr. Steinbrenner: I heard about what happened at the meeting this morning...
George: Oh, yes. I already packed up my desk, sir. I can be outta here in an hour.
Mr. Steinbrenner: ...and I have to tell you, it's exactly what this organisation needed. We wanna look to the future, we gotta tear down the past. Babe Ruth was nothing more than a fat old man with little-girl legs. And here's something I just found out recently. He wasn't really a sultan. Huh, what do you make of that? Hey, check this out. [stands up] Lou Gehrig's pants. Not a bad fit. Hey, you don't think that nerve disease of his was contagious, do you? Uh, I better take them off. I'm too important to this team. Big Stein can't be flopping and twitching. Hey, how about some lunch. What are you going for?

Kramer: Hi, I'm H.E. Pennypacker. I'm a wealthy American industrialist, uh, looking to open a silver mine in the mountains of Peru. And uh, before I invest millions in a lucrative mine, I, I'd like to go a little native. Uh. Get the feel of their condiments, of their unmentionables. You know, the real uh, gritty-gritty. [eats chips]
Gladys: Well, let me show you what we have.
Kramer: Well, uh, I think I can just browse around on my own. [eats chips] Hmm, Machu Pichu. Are these free?
Gladys: Yeah.
Kramer: Hmm-mmm.
[Kramer walks over to a rack, indiscriminately takes a selection of clothes, and then starts choking on the chips on his way to the changing room]
Gladys: Some of those are women's clothes.
Kramer: Oh, not a problem.
[Kramer closes the curtain. The sound of a pricing gun can be heard. Kramer drops it and then steps on it.]

Elaine: Come on. What is taking you so long?
Kramer: Elaine, I broke the price-gun, so I had to move to Plan B.
Elaine: Plan B? There is no plan B.
Kramer: I took these out of every single garment in the store.
Elaine: What?!
Kramer: They're dessicants. See, they absorb moisture. These clothes won't last five years without them.
Elaine: That's not gonna do anything.
Kramer: Patience.

Kramer: Well, I've uh, I've changed my mind. I think I'm going to build a rollercoaster instead.

Mr. Steinbrenner: I heard what you did in the parking lot, big boy, and it is [stressing each syllable] inexcusable. You personally insulted me, my staff... I cannot believe that you, Body-Suit Man, could perpetrate such a disloyalty. Breaks my heart to say it... Oh, who am I kidding? I love it. You're fi...
Wilhelm: Wait, wait, Mr Steinbrenner. George doesn't deserve any of the blame for what happened in the parking lot today, sir. If there's anyone to blame here, it's me.
Mr. Steinbrenner: What are you talking about, Wilhelm. You popping pills? You got the crazies again?
Wilhelm: No, no. No, no, sir. I ordered George to drive around insulting people today. Because I'm tired of all your macho head games.
George: He's lying, sir! I'm tired of all your macho head games!
Mr. Steinbrenner: Macho head games?
Wilhelm: [puts arm around George] He's just being loyal to me, sir.
Mr. Steinbrenner: Wilhelm, you're fired. I owe you an apology, Body-Suit Man. Streak on. [stands up] Now, if you gentlemen'll excuse me, I'm not going to the game today, I'm gonna go outside and scalp some tickets. Owner's box, that's gotta bring in forty bucks, no problem.
George: Mr Wilhelm, what was that?!
Wilhelm: I wanted to get fired. George, you are looking at the new head scout of the New York Mets. [sings] Meet the Mets, meet the Mets. Come right out and greet the Mets.

Kramer: You knew I was having a millennium party, but you just had to throw yours on the same day!
Newman: I have done nothing unethical.
Kramer: Yeah, well you're gonna have to cancel it, because I've told everybody about my party.
Newman: Cancel?! Think again, long shanks! I started planning this in 1978. I put a deposit down on that revolving restaurant that overlooks Times Square and I booked Christopher Cross.

Kramer: It all right if I keep these here for a while? I'm having a New Year's Eve party.
Jerry: You're gonna keep these here for eight months?!
Kramer: No, Jerry. New Year's Eve, 1999. The millennium. I told you about that.
Jerry: Kramer, you're gonna leave these chairs here for two and a half years?!
Kramer: You're not gonna see them. I got a case of party poppers I'm gonna keep in front of them.

George: Come on in and greet the Mets.
Jerry: Good meeting?
George: There was no meeting. [grabs a folding chair] But it was quite a meeting. You are looking at the next director of Mets scouting. The only thing is, I have to get fired from the Yankees first.
Jerry: You can do that.
George: Of course. But I really wanna leave my mark this time, you know. Uh, I wanna walk away from the Yankees with people saying, "Wow! Now that guy got canned!"
Jerry: So you want to go out in a final blaze of incompetence?
George: Remember that summer at Dairy Queen where I cooled my feet in the soft-serve machine?

George: Hey, so get this. I get a call this morning from one of the Mets front office guys. They wanna take me out to lunch.
Jerry: What for?
George: I'm on a winning ball club, Jerry. They probably wanna pick my brains.
Jerry: Really, why do you think they're taking you out to lunch?
George: I have no idea.