Kramer Quote #906

Quote from Kramer in The Millenium

Kramer: Hi, I'm H.E. Pennypacker. I'm a wealthy American industrialist, uh, looking to open a silver mine in the mountains of Peru. And uh, before I invest millions in a lucrative mine, I, I'd like to go a little native. Uh. Get the feel of their condiments, of their unmentionables. You know, the real uh, gritty-gritty. [eats chips]
Gladys: Well, let me show you what we have.
Kramer: Well, uh, I think I can just browse around on my own. [eats chips] Hmm, Machu Pichu. Are these free?
Gladys: Yeah.
Kramer: Hmm-mmm.
[Kramer walks over to a rack, indiscriminately takes a selection of clothes, and then starts choking on the chips on his way to the changing room]
Gladys: Some of those are women's clothes.
Kramer: Oh, not a problem.
[Kramer closes the curtain. The sound of a pricing gun can be heard. Kramer drops it and then steps on it.]


Features in the collection: Dr. Van Nostrand & H.E. Pennypacker.

‘Dr. Van Nostrand & H.E. Pennypacker’

Quote from Jerry in The Puerto Rican Day

Mrs. Nyhart: Would you like to see the rest of the apartment, Mister, um--
Jerry: Uh... Varnsen. Kel Varnsen. Actually, this room intrigues me. Why is it called the TV room?
Mrs. Nyhart: Well, it's--
Jerry: [at TV] Balk?! How was that a balk?! You have any snacks?
Mrs. Nyhart: Mr. Varnsen, if you like the apartment, I should tell you I've also had some interest from a wealthy industrialist.
Jerry: Not Pennypacker.
Mrs. Nyhart: You know him?
Jerry: I wish I didn't. Brace yourself, madam, for an all-out bidding war. But this time, advantage Varnsen!

Quote from Kramer in The Puerto Rican Day

Mrs. Nyhart: Did the broker send you over?
Kramer: Uh, yes, most likely. Yes. I'm, uh, H.E. Pennypacker. I'm a wealthy industrialist and philanthropist and, uh, a bicyclist. Yes, I'm looking for a place where I can settle down with my, uh, peculiar habits, and, uh, the women that I frequent with. [sniffs wall] Mmm. Mombasa, hmm?
Mrs. Nyhart: The asking price is $1.5 million.
Kramer: Oh, I spend that much on after shave. Yes, I buy and sell men like myself every day. Now, I assume that there's a waterfall grotto?
Mrs. Nyhart: No.
Kramer: How about a bathroom?
Mrs. Nyhart: It has 4.
Kramer: Yes, and where would the absolute nearest one be?
Mrs. Nyhart: Just down the hall.
Kramer: Oh, thank you.

 ‘The Millenium’ Quotes

Quote from Newman

Kramer: Well, what am I gonna do? I got over two hundred folding chairs, and quite a bit of ice.
Newman: What kind?
Kramer: Cubed.
Newman: That's good stuff, and you can never have too much ice. All right, I'll tell you what I'll do. You can co-host the party with me, under one condition. No Jerry. Jerry is not invited.
Kramer: I gotta invite Jerry. He's my buddy.
Newman: That he may be. But he's outta my life, starting in the year 2000. For me, the next millennium must be Jerry-free!

Quote from Mr. Steinbrenner

George: You wanted to see me, sir?
Mr. Steinbrenner: I heard about what happened at the meeting this morning...
George: Oh, yes. I already packed up my desk, sir. I can be outta here in an hour.
Mr. Steinbrenner: ...and I have to tell you, it's exactly what this organisation needed. We wanna look to the future, we gotta tear down the past. Babe Ruth was nothing more than a fat old man with little-girl legs. And here's something I just found out recently. He wasn't really a sultan. Huh, what do you make of that? Hey, check this out. [stands up] Lou Gehrig's pants. Not a bad fit. Hey, you don't think that nerve disease of his was contagious, do you? Uh, I better take them off. I'm too important to this team. Big Stein can't be flopping and twitching. Hey, how about some lunch. What are you going for?

Quote from Kramer

Elaine: Come on. What is taking you so long?
Kramer: Elaine, I broke the price-gun, so I had to move to Plan B.
Elaine: Plan B? There is no plan B.
Kramer: I took these out of every single garment in the store.
Elaine: What?!
Kramer: They're dessicants. See, they absorb moisture. These clothes won't last five years without them.
Elaine: That's not gonna do anything.
Kramer: Patience.