‘The Millenium’
Season 8, Episode 20 - Aired May 1, 1997
Jerry's new girlfriend, Valerie (guest star Lauren Graham), is very particular about ranking her speed dial. After receiving a job offer from the Mets, George tries to get fired from the Yankees. Elaine tries to run a Mayan shop out of business because of a rude clerk. Meanwhile, Kramer clashes with Newman over plans for a millennium party.
Quote from Jerry
Jerry: By the way, Newman, I'm just curious. When you booked the hotel, did you book it for the millennium New Year?
Newman: As a matter of fact, I did.
Jerry: Oh, that's interesting, because as everyone knows, since there was no year zero, the millennium doesn't begin until the year 2001. Which would make your party one year late, and thus... quite lame. Oh!
Quote from Jerry
Mrs. Hamilton: I don't feel well at all. I feel all dried-out inside.
Valerie: I'll call for help.
[Valerie speed dials the number labeled Poison Control. Elsewhere, Jerry's phone rings.]
Jerry: [answers phone] Hello?
Valerie: Who's this?
Jerry: It's Jerry. Who's this?
Valerie: Uh, it's Valerie.
Jerry: Oh, hi Valerie. What's up?
Valerie: I'll tell you what's up. My stepmother is violently ill, so I hit the button for poison control and I get you!
Jerry: Wow, poison control? That's even higher than number one! [Valerie hangs up] Hello?