[After a woman gets in Jerry's car:]
Jerry: Hi, Valerie. [she turns to him] You're not Valerie.
Mrs. Hamilton: I'm her step-mother. Drive.
Mrs. Hamilton: It's taken me thirteen years to climb up to the top of that speed-dial, and I don't intend to lose my spot to you.
Jerry: But, I never...
Mrs. Hamilton: You just stay away from that phone.

Jerry: You know uh, Valerie, I uh, couldn't help but notice that I'm on your speed-dial.
Valerie: You deserve it.
Jerry: But I can't help thinking that maybe there's someone in your life who deserves it more. Someone you've known, you know, more than a week.
Valerie: My stepmother got to you, didn't she?
Jerry: What? No.
Valerie: Uh, I can't believe she did this again. That's it! She's off the speed-dial completely.
Jerry: Yikes.

Elaine: No, no, no no, listen to me. I work in fashion. Together, we can drive Putumayo outta business and make Cinco de Mayo numero uno... de Mayo.
Gladys: [walks to the counter] Do you need some help with something?
Elaine: You? What are you doing here?
Gladys: I own this store.
Elaine: No, you don't. You own Putumayo. Unless you own both stores. [chuckles nervously]
Gladys: I'm Gladys Mayo.
Elaine: Ah, this really sticks in my craw.

Jerry: Well, Mrs Hamilton, it's certainly nice that you and Valerie patched things up, so we could all get together like this. Where is Valerie?
Mrs. Hamilton: I'm sure she'll be along. (handing over a glass) Have some wine, Jerome.
Jerry: Okay.
Mrs. Hamilton: You know, Jerome, I can understand what Valerie sees in you. So attractive, so strong, so comedic.
Jerry: Uh, good.
Mrs. Hamilton: Jerome, I have a deliciously naughty idea.
Jerry: What?
Mrs. Hamilton: Why don't I put you on my speed-dial?
Jerry: I don't know, Mrs Hamilton. That doesn't sound...
Mrs. Hamilton: Don't be such a child, Jerome. How's number three sound?
Jerry: [jumps up] Valerie's not coming over, is she?
Mrs. Hamilton: Seven, four...
Jerry: No.
Mrs. Hamilton: Two...
Jerry: Stop, stop. This isn't right. What about Valerie?
Mrs. Hamilton: I won't tell if you don't.
[Jerry runs out in a hurry]

Kramer: [talking in his sleep] Jerry. Newman. 2000. [bolts up] Newmannium! [grabs a picture of Jerry from his nightstand] Jerry.

Steve Koren: [on TV] All right, Yankees, two. Orioles, nothing. Wait a minute! A short
stocky bald man is streaking across the field.
Jerry: Oh my God, George!
Steve Koren: Check that. He's not streaking. He's wearing a flesh-tone body-stocking. Apparently, he's a bit bashful, and oddly, no-one seems upset.
Jerry: Kramer, look, it's George.
Steve Koren: Everyone loves him.

Kramer: Listen, Jerry, I can't let you come to my New Year's party.
Jerry: Fine.
Kramer: I mean, it's killing me. Newman's got the jump on the invites, and will crush me if I try to go it alone.
Jerry: No problem.
Kramer: You're right. I won't do it without you. I feel so ashamed I even thought of it, huh. [Elaine enters] Elaine, you can't go to Newman's Newmannium.
Elaine: Okay.
Kramer: No, no, no. You gotta spend New Year's 1999 with me and Jerry.
Elaine: Fine.
Kramer: Oh, come on!
Elaine: All right.
Kramer: Yes! All right, so it's you, it's me, and it's Jerry, huh. [claps] Yeah, now things are starting to snowball, huh. I'll tell Newman I don't need him. So, I'll uh, see you two in the 21st century.

Elaine: Okay. Kramer, Kramer, wait a minute. Do you still have that pricing-gun?
Kramer: Yeah.
Elaine: Okay, I need you to help me put Putumayo outta business.
Kramer: Can do.
Jerry: What are you doing with a pricing-gun?
Elaine: That place is about to have the sale of the century. Nothing over ninety-nine cents. [exits]
Jerry: Still a rip-off.

Jerry: [answers phone] Hello?
Valerie: Jerry, I was just at my stepmom's house, and I saw that you were on her speed-dial.
Jerry: Uh, well, she uh, probably just wanted to be able to keep tabs on you. [phone beeps] Hold on a second. [switches line] Hello?
Mrs. Hamilton: Hi, Jerome.
Jerry: Oh, Mrs. Hamilton, this is a very bad time. I've got Valerie on the other line. Just a second. [switches] Hello?
Valerie: That's her on the other line, isn't it?
Jerry: Well...
Valerie: Tell her I don't want you on her speed-dial.
Jerry: Hang on. [switches line] She knows about the speed-dial. Mrs Hamilton, you gotta get me off this
thing.
Mrs. Hamilton: I won't, until she puts me back on hers.
Jerry: Hang on. [switches line] She wants to be back on yours.
Valerie: Fine. But only if you're off hers.
Jerry: Hang on. [switches line] Fine, if I'm off yours.
Valerie: No, still me.
Jerry: Sorry. Hang on. [actually switches line] Fine, if I'm off yours.
Mrs. Hamilton: I won't do it. It's my speed-dial, and I don't trust her.
Jerry: Please, Mrs Hamilton, this is very awkward for me.
Mrs. Hamilton: All right. I'll hide you in one of the emergency buttons.
Jerry: Great, bye. [switches line] She said she'll do it.
Valerie: Great.

Kramer: I don't know what Elaine is so upset about. I mean, without dessicants, those clothes will be noticeably musty in five years.
Jerry: She never sees the big picture.