Jerry: What if we created some sort of diversion? What if we all went by the car and started screaming: "Hey, there he is. There's the guy that took the handicap spot!" And then, when they all run into the other direction, we'll jump in the car!
George: That's good, we'll give it a try.
Elaine: That's good...
Jerry: And if that doesn't work, we'll give 'em Kramer!
Kramer: Huh?

Frank Costanza: Eight years have I had this car. Not a scratch on it! Eight years! [slaps George] A beautiful Mercury! I special-ordered that bench seat!
George: Dad, that other car cut us off! They had swastikas all over it. They were hurling racial epithets at us, I could have been killed!
Elaine: I told you not to give it to him!
Frank Costanza: You know, my insurance doesn't cover this? The whole thing is a total loss!
Woman: Frank, the important thing is, he didn't get hurt!
Frank Costanza: No, it isn't!

Mahjong player #1: So what are you doing now, Georgie?
George: I'm, uh, writing a pilot for NBC.
Frank Costanza: Where the hell is my paper?
Mahjong player #1: You're writing a pilot?
Estelle: With his friend, Jerry Seinfeld, the comedian.
Mahjong player #2: So what's it about?
George: Well, Jerry's car gets hit and the other driver doesn't have any insurance, so the judge sentences him to be Jerry's butler.
Mahjong player #2: This is the same situation!
Mahjong player #3: Frank, maybe you ought to make him your butler!

Elaine: Every time you're with that Kramer, something happens. He's a real trouble maker!
George: Ma, he didn't have anything to do with it...
Elaine: He's all together crazy, that one! And Jerry? I used to think was nice I don't know what happened to him.

Kramer: Well, the handicapped woman? I went to see her.
Elaine: You went to see her?
Kramer: Yeah.
Jerry: Wow, what happened?
Kramer: I'm in love.
Jerry: What?
Kramer: Yeah, she is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I love her, Jerry. I mean, I really love her. I'm gonna ask her to marry me. She's got everything I've always wanted in another human being. Except for the walking.
Jerry: Oh, what's the difference, you don't go out that much.

Kramer: Ah, I'm glad you're here.
George: Why?
Kramer: All right, now, we gotta go out. We gotta buy a wheelchair.
George: A wheelchair? What for?
Kramer: Well, you know I went to the hospital today. I saw the woman, you know, and the wheelchair is totaled, we gotta get her another one!
George: Doesn't she have collision?

George: Can't we just fix the old one?
Kramer: All right, all right. Fine, George! Don't chip in! But some day, we're gonna be driving along, we're gonna look out the window, and see her crawling along 5th avenue! Is that what you want?
George: All right, all right! We'll buy her a wheelchair! Wheelchairs, engagement presents... It never ends!

Salesman: This is out best model. The Cougar 9000. It's the Rolls Royce of wheelchairs. This is like... you're almost glad to be handicapped.
Kramer: So now, what's this got?
Salesman: Inductive joystick, dynamic braking, flip-up arms, it's fully loaded. I put Stephen Hawking in one of these two months ago. He's loving it! It's rated number one by Hospital Supply and Prosthetic Magazine.
George: How much?
Salesman: $6200.
George: Do you have something a little more... less expensive?

Elaine: Drake gave her the TV?
Jerry: He gave her all the gifts. He felt guilty.
Elaine: Well, she can't keep it. It's not fair. That's our TV!
Jerry: I know it is!
Elaine: Boy, I am really starting to dislike the Drake!
Jerry: I hate the Drake! Maybe the whole thing was a scam. Anybody can just get engaged and get presents and just keep them all. Maybe they're on their way to Chicago tomorrow and do the whole thing all over again.
Elaine: They don't know anybody in Chicago.
Jerry: Don't worry, they'll make friends fast with that nice TV.

George: Hey.
Jerry: Hey, guess what? The Drake broke up.
George: The Drake broke up?! That's fantastic! Now we get the TV back! It'll help defray some of the cost of the wheelchair.
Jerry: I don't know about defraying.
George: Why?
Jerry: We're not getting that TV.
George: What do you mean? The engagement is off. We get the TV back. That's business.
Elaine: The Drakette took it.
George: She can't take it. It's not hers, it's theirs. Once there's no theirs, there's no hers. It should be ours.
Elaine: Well, she has it!
George: I told you the Drake was bad! I hate the Drake!