‘The Frogger’
Season 9, Episode 18 - Aired April 23, 1998
George buys an arcade game from his old high school hangout. Jerry ends up in a relationship with a woman because he's afraid of a potential serial killer in her neighborhood. Elaine is fed up of being offered cake at work. Meanwhile, Kramer gets ahold of some police tape.
Quote from J. Peterman
J. Peterman: [sings] Get well, get well soon we wish you to get well. [laughs, speaking:] Oh, what a stirring little anthem of wellness. Elaine.
Elaine: Mr. Peterman, um-
J. Peterman: We missed you at the get well party. Poor old Walt has a polyp in the duodenum. It's benign, but, oh, still a bastard.
J. Peterman: Oh, Elaine, can you keep a secret?
Elaine: No, sir, I can't.
J. Peterman: Inside that small college boy minifridge is my latest acquisition. A slice of cake from the wedding of King Edward VIII to Wallis Simpson, circa 1937, price $29,000.
Quote from Elaine
Elaine: Guess what I ate.
George: An ostrich burger.
Elaine: No. A $29,000 piece of cake. Peterman got it at The Duke and Duchess of Windsor auction. It was the most romantic thing I've ever eaten.
Jerry: How'd it taste?
Elaine: A little stale.
Jerry: Yeah.
Quote from Elaine
Elaine: Do you have anything that's been, you know, laying around for a while? Something prewar would be just great.
Quote from Elaine
J. Peterman: Elaine, stay. Lubeck here is the world's foremost appraiser of vintage pastry. [Lubeck inspects the cake] All right, Lubeck. How much is she worth?
Lubeck: I'd say about 219.
J. Peterman: [laughs] $219,000! Lubeck, you glorious tit-willow. You just made me a profit of $190,000.
Lubeck: No, $2.19. It's an Entenmann's.
J. Peterman: Do they have a castle at Windsor?
Lubeck: No. They have a display case at the end of the aisle.
J. Peterman: Oh, good lord.
Lubeck: You all right, Peterman? You look ill.
Elaine: [sings] Get well, get well soon, we want you to get well. Get well, get well soon we want you to get well.
Quote from Elaine
Woman: Elaine, cake?
Elaine: Uh, no, thanks.
Woman: It's Walter's special day.
Elaine: You know, there are 200 people who work in this office. Every day is somebody's special day.
Elaine takes a piece of cake and makes her way to the door, but is stopped as a male worker carrying a cake enters.
Man: Elaine! Where're you going? It's Walter's last day. We have to celebrate.
Elaine: It's his birthday and it's his last day?
Man: This is other Walter, from returns.
Other Walter: Hey, what's going on here?
All: Surprise!
Other Walter: Oh guys. Elaine, it's my last day. Have a piece.
Elaine: All right, pile it on.
Quote from Jerry
Elaine: By the way, I talked to Lisi, and tomorrow night's good for her.
Jerry: You know, I shouldn't go out with a friend of yours. I foresee messiness.
Elaine: Yeah, you're better off sitting around here, reading comic books, and eating spaghetti at two in the morning.
Quote from George
George: Mario's pizza. Just as she was. Hey, Mario! Remember us?
Mario: No.
Jerry: We used to come in every day.
Mario: So where you been? We're tanking here.
George: We'll have two slices and two grape sodas.
Mario: Oh, thanks. That'll save us.
Jerry: All right, make it the large sodas.
Quote from Jerry
George: Hey, Jerry, remember Frogger? I used to be so into this game. Gettin' that frog across the street was my entire life.
Jerry: Yeah. And then you went on to...Well, it's a good game.
Quote from Elaine
Elaine: [inner monologue] This pen smells really bad. So why do I keep smelling it? Is it too late for me to go to law school?
Quote from Jerry
Jerry: I'll tell you Lisi, I never expected that movie to--
Lisi: End under water?
Jerry: Be that long. I mean, most action movies are--
Lisi: So much more violent.
Jerry: Not as long.
Lisi: Well, I should probably--
Jerry: Get going.
Lisi: Yeah.
Jerry: Well, it was nice meeting you. I'm sure I'll see you--
Lisi: Eight tomorrow?
Jerry: Actually, that's--
Lisi: What you were thinking.
Jerry: Right.