Jerry: "The ocean called, they're running out of shrimp"?
George: Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then, I said to him, "Oh yeah? Well, the jerk store called, and they're running out of you."
Jerry: Really? That's great. You said that to him?
George: Well, actually, I thought it up on the way over here.
Jerry: Oh. That's not quite the same.
George: No. No, it's not. You don't know this guy. It would have been so sweet.

Bill: Well, if the big man wants a new scoreboard, I don't wanna be the one to tell him no.
Reilly: No-one in the park is gonna be able to see it from there.
George: [with a mouthful of shrimp] Well, why don't we just put a monitor in his skybox?
Reilly: Hey George, the ocean called. They're running out of shrimp.
[later, as George drives home:]
George: [inner monologue] The ocean called. Running out of shrimp. Out of shrimp! [out loud] Oh, yes! That's what I should have said. Dammit!

Reilly: So, George. You're proposing a snow tire day at Yankee Stadium?
George: [with a mouthful of shrimp] Long as they don't throw 'em on the field. [laughs] Help yourself to some shrimp, I brought enough for everybody.
Man: I have to say this, this proposal doesn't make a whole lot of sense.
George: Well, you never know. [eats more shrimp] Let's see how many I can fit in my mouth.
Reilly: You know, George... The ocean called. They're running out of shrimp. [all laugh]
George: [stands] Oh yeah, Reilly? Well, the jerk store called. They're running out of you.
Reilly: What's the difference? You're their all-time best seller! [all laugh]
George: Yeah? Well, I had sex with your wife.
Man: His wife is in a coma.

George: Sometimes in life, the gods smile upon you, my friends.
Jerry: Did you get someone to take that Canadian quarter?
George: I got another meeting with Reilly. A whole new audience, and I bet I can get him to try that line again.
Elaine: Who's Reilly?
Jerry: George was scarfing shrimp at this meeting, and this guy says "Hey, George, the ocean called. They're running outta shrimp." [Elaine laughs]
George: Listen to the comeback. "Oh yeah? Well the jerk store called. They're running out of you." [silence] What? You gotta be kidding me?!

Kramer: Jerry, have you ever seen the movie The Other Side Of Darkness?
Jerry: No.
Kramer: It's about this woman, in a coma. Well, I couldn't finish watching it, so I want you to read this.
Jerry: "I, Cosmo Kramer, having just seen the movie The Other Side Of Darkness, and not wanting to be in a coma like that lady in the movie, hereby want Jerry Seinfeld to remove my life support, feeding machine, lung-blower, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera."
Kramer: Can you do that for me, buddy?
Jerry: Well, I don't if what you have here constitutes a legally binding document.
Kramer: Well, I'm gonna type it up.
Jerry: Yes, well, of course. But even so, you may wanna talk to a lawyer.
Kramer: Yeah, but, Jackie Chiles, he put a restraining order on me. I'm not allowed within two hundred feet of his office. I couldn't even give him his Christmas present.

Elaine: How about this one? How about, "Your cranium called. It's got some space to rent."?
George: What does that mean?
Jerry: Hey, here you go. "Hey, Reilly. The zoo called. You're due back by six."
George: No. No, no, no. You're not helping me.
Kramer: Look, just tell him you had sex with his wife. That'll kill him.
George: I'm not looking for another line. I got the line.
Kramer: Look, George, just think about it. You know, you're married, how would you feel if somebody says to you that they just had se...
George: All right, all right. You see? This is why I hate writing with a large group. Everybody has their own little opinions, and it all gets homogenized, and you lose the whole edge of it. I'm going with "jerk store"! "Jerk store" is the line! "Jerk store"! Yes!

Kramer: Hey. Right, I talked to this lawyer guy, Shellbach. Now, he's gonna set me up, but you gotta come with me and be the executor.
Elaine: The executor? Of what?
Jerry: Kramer wants to die with dignity.
Elaine: There's a feather in your cap.
Kramer: I don't wanna be a vegetable, Elaine. I just want out.

Elaine: [at the TV] Bernie is dead, you moron! Just because he's wearing sunglasses he looks alive?! Ugh, how long is this weekend, anyway? Ugh. [answers phone] Hello.
Vincent: How's the movie. Elaine?
Elaine: Vincent?
Vincent: The Gene pick. How could you? I thought we had something special.
Elaine: No, it doesn't mean anything. I'm not even gonna rewind it. [Vincent hangs up] Vincent?

Jerry: So how did the big meeting turn out?
George: Reilly is no longer with the club. You believe that?
Jerry: Ah, you're better off. Now you can just let it go.
George: Yeah, I'm gonna let it go.
Jerry: You never really had the right comeback, anyway.
George: Are you insane? "Jerk store" would have smoked that guy! Smoked him, I say.

George: So, guess where Mr. "Ocean phoned" turned up? He's working for Firestone, in Akron, Ohio.
Elaine: Ohio?
George: Yep. I'm leaving first thing tomorrow morning.
Jerry: You're flying to Akron just to zing a guy?
George: Don't you understand? It's not about him. To have a line as perfect as "jerk store" and to never use it. I, I couldn't live with myself.
Elaine: See, there are no jerk stores. It.. It's just a little confusing, is all.
George: It's smart. It's a smart line, and a smart crowd will appreciate it. [shouts] And, I'm not gonna dumb it down for some bonehead mass audience! [to the other diners] Not you.