Kramer: I came by to get my ball.
Elaine: It's right over there.
Kramer: Oh, yeah, thanks. [gets ball] Yeah, it's got the magic grip. How do you think I bowled that two-twenty today, huh? [sees Indian figure] Yo! Where did this come from?
Elaine: You want it?
Kramer: I can have this?!
Elaine: Yuh! You wanna lug it uptown, it's yours.
Kramer: Oh. I'll lug.

Jerry: Wait a second, you got the Mark McEwan TV Guide.
Winona: That's Al Roker.
Jerry: Oh well, they're both chubby weathermen. I get Dom Deluise and Paul Prudhoe mixed up too. Could I have this?
Winona: Sure, take it.
Jerry: Thanks.

Jerry: So, Winona had the TV Guide. Told you I'd make it up to you.
Elaine: Aah, so Mr Costanza was pretty mad, huh?
Jerry: Yeah. You almost ruined his life's work.
Elaine: He collects... these?
Jerry: Yeah.
Elaine: Wow! All right, well I will personally go out to Queens and deliver his Al Roker TV Guide to him.

Kramer: All right, well I'm gonna go.
Jerry: Where you going?
Kramer: Well, I'm gonna go to the cigar stores. I'm gonna see if I can sell that Indian.
Jerry: My Indian?
Kramer: You know, I think it's worth something. It's kitschy.

Frank Costanza: How do you just walk into a house and take a TV Guide? How does she expect you to watch TV? [doorbell rings] Am I just supposed to turn it on and wander aimlessly around the dial?
[Estelle opens the door and finds Ricky holding a bouquet]
Ricky: Hello. Is Elaine home?
Estelle Costanza: Elaine Benes? Oh, she's my son's friend.
Frank Costanza: And she's not welcome in this house!
Ricky: [entering] Oh, 'cos I made her this very special gift. 'Kay, it's a bouquet of paper from her TV Guide.
Frank Costanza: That's my TV Guide! Ripped to shreds! She gave that to you?!
Ricky: [sees TV] Hey, is that the Twilight Zone you're watching?
George: Yeah.
Ricky: Oh, this is a good one.

Ricky: I like the special fall preview issues the best.
Frank Costanza: Those. I've been saving those from the beginning. [doorbell rings]
Ricky: These are worth, like, a lot of money.

[As Elaine rushes into Mr. Lippman's office, Kramer is sitting with his feat on Mr. Lippman's desk, smoking a cigar, next to the Indian figure]
Elaine: Mr. Lippman. I'm sorry, I was in Queens uh... Kramer!
Kramer: Yeah, hi Elaine.
Elaine: What are you doing in here with that?
Kramer: Ah, well, it's a business transaction.

Mr. Lippman: [enters] Listen, uh, petty cash just had tens and twenties. Go ahead, count it.
Kramer: Yeah, I'm sure it's all here. You know, I was just admiring your coffee table out there in the hall.
Mr. Lippman: You like that, huh? I had that custom made for me in Santa Fe.
Kramer: You mind if I use it in my book?
Mr. Lippman: What book?
Kramer: Well, I'm doing a coffee table book on coffee tables.
Mr. Lippman: About coffee tables?
Kramer: Uh-huh.
Mr. Lippman: That's fantastic. Who's your publisher?
Kramer: Well, I'm still shopping it around.
Mr. Lippman: Yeah? [to Elaine] You see, this is the kind of idea you should be coming in with. What the hell do you do round here all day anyway?
Elaine: Well I... [indistinct] ...manuscript that I...
Mr. Lippman: God, that Indian really completes the room. Don't you think?

Jerry: How would you describe the smell in this house?
Elaine: Dandruff?
Jerry: Yeah, that's part of it. [sniffs] Kasha?
Elaine: There's some kasha.
Jerry: Yeah. Dandruff, kasha, mothballs, cheap carpeting. It's potpourri, really.

George: Whoa! Who put this cup right on the new table!
Jerry: I was having coffee, I put it on the coffee table.
George: But you didn't use a coaster, Jerry, you left a stain! [runs to the kitchen]
Kramer: Whoa, boy. There's always one at every party, huh?