Kramer: Elaine, uh, what'd he say?
Elaine: What did who say?
Kramer: Your boss. Didn't you tell him about the coffee table book?
Elaine: Um...
Kramer: Yeah, you didn't tell him did you?
Elaine: Kramer, it is such a dumb idea. I would be- [raises her voice] I would be embarrassed to bring it up.
Jerry: I thought it was a pretty good idea. It's about coffee tables, it's on a coffee table.
Kramer: Yeah, right, right. And on the cover is a built-in coaster. [clicks tongue]

Kramer: I don't understand. How can you have a cigar store, without an Indian? It's unseemly.
Spike: I'll give you a box of Coronas for it.
Kramer: Forget it.
Mr. Lippman: Uh, excuse me. Are you uh, selling this Indian?
Kramer: Oh yeah, yeah.
Mr. Lippman: Uh, I'm just uh, redecorating my office in a south-western motif and this'd be perfect. Give you five hundred dollars for it?
Kramer: Giddyup.
Mr. Lippman: Yeah? Could you help me bring it up to my office, I'm right next door. Pendant Publishing.
Kramer: Pendant Publishing? Giddyup again.

[stand-up:]
Jerry: You can always tell what was the best year of your father's life, because they seem to just freeze that clothing style and just ride it out to the end, don't they? And it's not like they don't continue shopping, it's just they somehow manage to find new old clothes. Every father is like this fashion time capsule, you know what I mean. It's like they should be on a pedestal, with someone next to 'em going "This was nineteen sixty-five". To me, the worst thing is shopping for pants. I hate dressing and undressing in that little room. What men need is a place to shop where you go in, you check your pants at the door, and you just walk around the store in your underwear. That would be the best way. Then you'd really have to lie to the salesman. "Need some help?" "No, just getting some air."

Kramer: These aren't candies, are they?
George: What? Did you use those? These are guest soaps!
Kramer: Well, I'm a guest.
George: Now my parents are gonna know I had people over.
Jerry: You're not allowed to have people over?
George: I can't have any parties while they're out of town.
Kramer: What, this is a party?

[After Jerry puts his mug down on the coffee table again]
George: Aah!
Jerry: All right, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. [picks it up]
George: Sorry? Jerry, this is not coming out!
Jerry: Just put a coffee table book over it.
George: My parents don't read! They're gonna wonder what a book is doing on the table!

Kramer: Like a history of coffee tables. Celebrities and their coffee tables. It's a natural. This is a story that must be told.
Elaine: [reading] Hmm-mmm.
Kramer: So, you're gonna talk to your boss about it, huh?
Elaine: [paying no attention] Hmm-mmm. First thing in the morning.
Kramer: Yes, indeed.

Conductor: [over tanoy] Next stop, Queensboro Plaza.
Kramer: Oh, Queensboro Plaza. This stop is famous for its gyros, you want one?
Elaine: How are you gonna get something and get back on the train in time?
Kramer: Well, they got a stand right out on the platform. Gyros are cooked, and wrapped, and ready to go. Three dollars, no change. You want one?
Elaine: No thanks.
Kramer: All right, but no bites.

Jerry: Hey, maybe I should get Elaine something.
George: Why?
Jerry: Ah, you know, I didn't drive her home. Plus, I give her a gift in front of Winona, how does that hurt me?
George: Can't hurt you.
Jerry: What about- What about this thing?
George: The Indian?
Jerry: Yeah. You know, kind of a peace offering. Cute.

Ricky: Oh, 'kay, see. On this particular Tuesday you could've watched six hours of Lucy. There's I Love Lucy, The Lucy Show, Here's Lucy.
[As the train comes to a stop]
Elaine: Oh... [nervous chuckle] This is my stop. Bye-bye.
Ricky: Hey, Miss! [waving TV Guide] You forgot this!
[After Elaine runs away on the platform, Ricky notices that the TV Guide bears the address F. COSTANZA, 1344 QUEENS BLVD, FLUSHING NY 11353]

Sylvia: You got very unusual taste.
George: I hope prune juice is all right. It's the only thing I had that was chilled.
Sylvia: Fine.
George: I'm sorry about that lock on the liquor cabinet. The combination must have just flown outta my head. It's a mental block.