Jerry: So how did you leave it with him?
Elaine: I am supposed to meet him to pick up your cigars.
Jerry: That's another loop hole. That's two dates without asking you out.
Elaine: You're crazy!
Jerry: Crazy like a man.

Mario: Number 49.
George: You know, my last name is Costanza. That's Italian. So you and I are kind of like country men. Paisanos.
Mario: $6.50, your change.
George: Ah, yes. And I always take care of my Paisanos. So here is a little something.
[George drops his tip in the jar, but Mario is distracted and doesn't see. After Mario goes to the back, George tries to retrieve his tip.]
Mario: Hey! Hey! You steal my money!
George: No, no. You don't understand. I wasn't trying to take it out.
Mario: No, I know what you try to do. Now, get out of here. Don't come back here ever.

Elaine: Thanks for the dinner.
Todd: Well, I had to give you those cigars and we were both hungry.
Elaine: Hey, Todd. Let me ask you a question. Um, was this whole date thing just a way of asking me out?
Todd: What?
Elaine: I mean, Dustin Hoffman in Star Wars?
Todd: Elaine that was a legitimate bet. I lost, so I bought you dinner.
Elaine: Oh, all right. Okay, well, goodnight.
Todd: Hey, if you're not doing anything Saturday do you want to meet somewhere?
Elaine: See, what is that? Is that a date?
Todd: Why? Why can't two people go and do something without it being a date?
Elaine: All right. Fine, I am sorry. It's not a date.
Todd: No way. So I'll see you Saturday night?
Elaine: All right.
Todd: Pick you up at 8:00 p.m.

Kramer: You got cigars, huh?
Jerry: Yeah, I got some Cubans for George's wedding. They were more than I wanted to pay, but what the hell.
Kramer: Oh, baby. Jeez. What are these? "Producto de Peru." Jerry, if you think those are Cubans, you got another thing coming.
Jerry: Peru?! I paid $300 bucks for these. I could have bought a house in Peru for $300 bucks!
Kramer: You got ripped, buddy.
Jerry: I got to pay this Todd Gack guy $300 bucks just so he has some excuse to see Elaine again without asking her out?
Kramer: That's a nice name. Todd Gack. What is that, Dutch?

Kramer: I decided to go with the brown ones.
George: What the hell is this?
Jerry: Kramer's cooking up some corduroy.

Elaine: What the hell was that?
Todd: What?
Elaine: Why did you introduce me to your parents?
Todd: They're nice people. I thought you would like them.
Elaine: Come on, Todd. Admit it, this is a date.
Todd: Why is this a date?
Elaine: Saturday night with your parents. I mean, unless I'm your sister this is a date.
Todd: Elaine, I don't understand why you can't meet someone else's parents without classifying it as a date.
Elaine: Well, if it's not a date then what is it?
Todd: It's a lovely evening together.
Elaine: I don't believe this.

George: Hey, I need you to do me a favor. I need you to get me lunch at Paisano's.
Kramer: Well, what happened to Newman?
George: He called in sick.
Kramer: Oh, right. It's raining.

Kramer: Hey. It's really wet out there.
Mario: What can I get you?
Kramer: I here you make a pretty mean calzone.
Mario: Calzone.
Kramer: Yeah, calzone.
Mario: The best!
Kramer: All right. Lay them on me. I'll take three.
Mario: Three calzones.
Kramer: Boy, that's a- That's a big oven. Hey, listen, I wonder if you could do me a favor?

Mario: Right. Your order is ready. Three calzones. And one hot shirt and jacket.
Kramer: Oh. Jeez. This is all burned up. Look at this.
Mario: What the hell do I know about cooking a shirt? $7.50 for your calzones. What the hell is this? Pennies? You're paying in change?
Kramer: That's all I've got.
Mario: No. You've got to have bills. Paper money. You can't pay with this.
Kramer: Look, I told you this is all I got.
Mario: Then you got no calzones.

George: What happened to you? Where are the calzones?
Kramer: He wouldn't give them to me because I wanted to pay in change.
George: What the hell happened to your shirt?
Kramer: He overcooked it. It's ruined.