Jerry: Hey, there's Leo.
Kramer: Oh? Who's Leo?
Jerry: Uncle Leo.
Kramer: Oh, yeah. Right. Uncle, Leo. Forgot his first name.
[As Kramer and Jerry watch him through the book shelf, they see Uncle Leo hide a book in his jacket]
Jerry: Did I just see that?!
Kramer: Well, that ought to keep you busy for a few days, huh?

Walter: So, Elaine.. are you going to dance this year?
Elaine: Maybe. All over your face!
Waitress: If you do dance, the cooks want to know, so they can be brought out of the kitchen. They missed it last year.

J. Peterman: My friends, a toast. As the woolly-haired Melanasians of Papua, New Guinea once said, [clicking and popping sounds]. [music starts] All right! Who's dancing? No one? All right, I'll just have to get things started.

Jerry: [enters the apartment] Oh, hey. Can I fix you fellas some drinks and sandwiches?
Kramer: No, we've already eaten.
Newman: But you can clear some of this stuff out of the way.

Kramer: Jerry, check this out. Remember my idea about rickshaws in New York? Well, we're gonna make it happen!
Jerry: No, you're not.
Kramer: Newman, he knows a guy in the Hong Kong post office..
Jerry: No, he doesn't.
Newman: He's shipping us a rickshaw. It can't miss!
Jerry: Yes, it can.
Kramer: We'll start out with one, and they when it catches on, we're gonna have a whole fleet!
Newman: It's the romance of the handsome Cab without the guilt or dander of the equine.
Jerry: So, who's gonna pull this thing?
[Kramer and Newman both look at each other]
Kramer: Well, I just assumed you would.
Newman: Yeah, but I though-
Kramer: [cuts Newman off]
Jerry: My, isn't this an awkward moment?

Kramer: What about the homeless?
Newman: Can't we worry about them later?
Kramer: To pull the rickshaw.
Newman: They do have an intimate knowledge of the street..
Kramer: They're always walkin' around the city. Why not just strap something to them?!
Jerry: Now, that's the first sensible idea I've heard all day.

Elaine: Of course Zach and I have been dating. What'd you think, I was the office skank?
Walter: Well..
Elaine: "Well"? We've been dating for three months. Between you and me, and.. anyone else you want to tell.
[When Elaine enters the break room, she finds Zach kissing a woman]
Elaine: [closes door] Oh, man. Ugh..
Walter: Isn't that Zach?
Elaine: Yeah.
Walter: Aren't you upset?
Elaine: [sobs] Yes. Oh, man! Oh!

Kramer: All right, listen up. Now, you three have been hand-picked out of possibly dozens that applied. Now, what we're looking for are motivated, hard-working, homeless gentlemen like yourselves to pull rickshaws. [one of the homeless men walks away] Now, I don't care where you're from, or how you got here, or what happened to your homes. But you will have to be physically fit.
Homeless Man: The government!
Kramer: ... Because to pull rickshaws means more than just strong legs. You're also going to need a well-toned upper body. Or a shirt.

Jerry: Excuse me, I wonder if you could do me a favor? My uncle's having a little problem with shoplifting.
Guard: Mm-hmm. Where's your uncle?
Jerry: He's over there in the overcoat. If you could just kind of put a scare into him. You know, set him straight..
Guard: [over radio] We have a 51-50 in paperbacks. All units respond.
Jerry: 51-50? That - that's just a scare, right?
Guard: Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to stand out of the way and let us handle this. Swarm! Swarm!
[Leo is surrounded by a group of guards]
Uncle Leo: What?! I'm an old man! I'm confused!
Guard: You're under arrest.
Jerry: I just wanted you to scare him.
Uncle Leo: Jerry, you ratted me out?!
Jerry: Hello?
Uncle Leo: Hello.

Kramer: Well, the rickshaw's gone. We strapped it to a homeless guy and he... He bolted.
Jerry: Well, you know, eighty-five percent of all homeless rickshaw businesses fail within the first three months.
Kramer: See, we should've gotten some collateral from him. Like his bag of cans, or his other bag of cans.
Newman: We gotta find that rickshaw. You check the sewers and dumpsters. I'll hit the soup kitchens, bakeries, and smorgasbords.
Jerry: To the Idiotmobile!