Jerry Quote #1748
Quote from Jerry in The Bookstore
Jerry: Excuse me, I wonder if you could do me a favor? My uncle's having a little problem with shoplifting.
Guard: Mm-hmm. Where's your uncle?
Jerry: He's over there in the overcoat. If you could just kind of put a scare into him. You know, set him straight..
Guard: [over radio] We have a 51-50 in paperbacks. All units respond.
Jerry: 51-50? That - that's just a scare, right?
Guard: Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to stand out of the way and let us handle this. Swarm! Swarm!
[Leo is surrounded by a group of guards]
Uncle Leo: What?! I'm an old man! I'm confused!
Guard: You're under arrest.
Jerry: I just wanted you to scare him.
Uncle Leo: Jerry, you ratted me out?!
Jerry: Hello?
Uncle Leo: Hello.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Bookstore’ Quotes
Quote from J. Peterman
J. Peterman: Elaine, do you have a moment? It's about your lover.
Elaine: Oh, yes. I know all about his little performance in the break room.
J. Peterman: Elaine, who among us hasn't snuck into the break room to nibble on a love newton?
Elaine: Love newton?
J. Peterman: I'm afraid the problem with Zach is more serious. He's back on the horse, Elaine. Smack. White palace. The Chinamen's nightcap.
Elaine: An addict? Well, it just keeps getting better!
J. Peterman: And, in a tiny way, I almost feel responsible. I'm the one who sent him to Thailand in search of low-cost whistles. Filled his head with pseudo-erotic tales of my own opium excursions. Plus, I have him some phone numbers of places he could score near the hotel.
Quote from George
George: They made me buy it. A hundred bucks this thing cost me. How dare they?! I got news for you, if it wasn't for the toilet, there would be no books.
Jerry: Yeah. I understand Guttenberg used to spend a lot of time in there.
George: They're selling coffee, bran muffins. You're surrounded by reading material. It's entrapment!
Jerry: "French Impressionist Paintings"?
George: I find the soothing pastorial images very conduc-
Jerry: Thank you very much.
George: Well, I'm gonna go back there later and return it when there's different people working. You want to catch a movie?
Jerry: I can't. I'm meeting Uncle Leo. I saw him shoplifting at the bookstore.
George: All right, Leo! Sticking it to the man!
Quote from George
George: May I ask, what do you read in the bathroom?
Jerry: I don't read in the bathroom.
George: Well, aren't you something?