J.D. Quote #878
Quote from J.D. in My Life in Four Cameras
[sitcom fantasy:]
J.D.: [v.o.] J.D.'s sitcom fantasy is filmed in front of a live studio audience.
Mr. James: It's weird. There's just so many things I never got to do in my life, like go to a carnival or take a ride in a hot-air balloon.
Elliot: We can do all that. We are gonna give you the best day ever.
J.D.: Elliot, a word? A hot-air balloon seems kind of dangerous. I mean, he could get hurt.
Elliot: What's he gonna do, bruise one of his giant malignant tumors?
J.D.: Safety is always important, Elliot.
Elliot: Oh, my god. You're afraid of balloon rides, aren't you?
J.D.: It's floating wicker propelled by fire!
Features in the collection: J.D.'s Best Fantasies.
Scrubs Quotes
‘J.D.'s Best Fantasies’
Quote from J.D. in My Quarantine
Kylie: So, uh, what's wrong with this guy?
J.D.: Well, let's see. Fatigue, fever, malaise. Have you been to Hong Kong, sir?
Man: Yeah.
J.D.: [v.o.] And then I said something stupid.
J.D.: Could be SARS.
J.D.: [v.o.] I forgot that if any doctor suspects SARS, it's cause for immediate quarantine lockdown.
[fantasy: Indiana Jones theme plays as sirens blare and doors shutter across the I.C.U. Jordan, now wearing a fedora, dives under the shutter as it closes]
Dr. Cox: What have you done, Newbie?
Danni: [holding a flask] Quarantinis, anyone?
Quote from J.D. in My Words of Wisdom
J.D.: [v.o.] As for me, I couldn't help but imagine what my own funeral would be like.
[fantasy:]
Choir: [singing] My girl wants to party all the time Party all the time
Minister: Yeah! And as you know, J.D. only had two requests. And that is that the choir sing the song that would remind us of how much he loved to party and that he could get one last hug from each of you.
[J.D.'s casket is stood vertically and his arms are spread out]
Elliot: You are the only one I've never faked it with.
Keith: It's true.
Dr. Cox: Hell, I love you, Newbie. I should have done this a long time ago. [hugs J.D.]
J.D.: I knew you loved me. I just had to fake my own death to prove it. He loves me everyone. Can I get an Amen?
All: Amen!
J.D.: Whoo, got him good! [Dr. Cox breaks J.D.'s neck] Worth it.
[reality:]
J.D.: And then we'd have my real funeral.
Dr. Kelso: Are you an idiot?
J.D.: No, sir, I'm a dreamer.
‘My Life in Four Cameras’ Quotes
Quote from Turk
Carla: Hey, we're missing Sanford and Son.
Turk: What?
Carla: Yes.
J.D.: [v.o.] Turk was freaked out because Carla never joins us on Sanford and Son night or Cheers night. I think it was because she was feeling a little romantically competitive with Kylie and me.
[After Kylie hugs J.D., Carla starts licking Turk's head]
Turk: Woman! Woman, I am not a lollipop! [sings to Sanford and Son theme] Quiet down now, It is time to watch the show, Yes, it started, Don't be lickin' me no mo', Matter of fact, Could you get me a handiwipe?
Quote from Dr. Cox
J.D.: What the hell are we supposed to do?
Dr. Cox: Loretta, relax. I've been involved in every ridiculous TV-induced panic there is. Poison pills, SARS, West Nile, North Face, South Fork, East River, monkey pox, Pop Rocks, toilet snakes, mad cow, bird flu, swine flu, and, quite frankly, every other flu that you could really only catch if you actually fornicate with the animal it's named for. And as a parting gift, I will tell you this. Narrow it down to two symptoms: vomiting and diarrhea, because it's just not E. coli unless it's firing out both exits.
J.D.: Sure hope I don't have dog flu.
Quote from Turk
[as J.D. and Kylie, Turk and Carla playfully arm-wrestle in the kitchen:]
J.D.: [v.o.] Carla certainly tried to be as adorable as us.
J.D.: Oh, darn it! You won.
J.D.: [v.o.] Unfortunately, Turk wasn't on the same wavelength.
Turk: Do you see what you get, Carla?! Do you see what you get when you mess with the warrior?!