Dr. Molly Clock: J.D., you just don't have that edgy mean streak that I'm attracted to.
[As Turk walks by, J.D. pushes him over the side of the railing into the hedge]
J.D.: You were saying?
Turk: Dude, what the hell!? [J.D. whispers in Turk's ear] Oh, that's what's up. Go about your business.

Dr. Molly Clock: Much better without the icy tongue.
J.D.: I'll remember that.
J.D.: [v.o.] Why would she lie?

J.D.: [v.o.] The key here is to not seem desperate.
J.D.: Please, Elliot. Please let me have sex. She's leaving tomorrow.
Elliot: It's simple, J.D., I'll give you the OK if you just admit we're not even.
J.D.: I am sorry, but that is one thing that will never happen.
[later, after seeing Molly stretch:]
J.D.: Fine, we're not even.
Elliot: Thank you.
J.D.: But Molly just left, so you have to call her at home.
Elliot: I'm not gonna do that. But, I will write you a note. "J.D. may fornicate with anyone."

Turk: [answers phone] Hello?
J.D.: Turk, it's me.
Turk: Hang on, I'm doing my diabetes test. Ninety eight, is that a good number?
J.D.: Yes, it's good. You surgeons are idiots.
Turk: Oh, I'm the idiot, huh? Well, guess what you were wrong about! Carla's Dominican.

Denise: All right, come on up, Per. Let's get this show on the road.
Dr. Cox: Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and hang out back here, just kinda get acclimated with this area.
Denise: Oh, okay. Hey, funny tidbit.
Dr. Cox: Sorry there, D., can't really hear you back here.
Denise: Oh, message received. [over speaker] Hey, can you hear me now? Hey, it's like that commercial. "Can you hear me now?" See, now, the only downside is that I can't hear you, so I guess I'll just have to talk for both of us. So back to that tidbit. Now, that's a funny word. See, I know what a bit is, but what's a tid? Tid, tid, tid, tid, tid, tid, tid, tid, tid, tid, tid.

Turk: J.D., we're over here!
J.D.: Coming!
Carla: I don't understand what the big deal is. It's just sex.
Turk: It's not just sex. It's sex with Molly. Any guy would kill to have sex with Molly. Hell, I'd kill to have sex with Molly.
Carla: That's it. [drives off]

Turk: Where were you?
J.D.: I was treed by that coyote.
Turk: You got your phone?
J.D.: He took it.
Turk: What now?
J.D.: I can't run in this gown, it's too loose.
Turk: I can't run in these jeans, they're too constricting.
[later, they've switched clothes:]
Turk: Yeah, this is much better.
J.D.: I agree, but my legs are cramping.
Turk: You spent too much time crouching in that tree, didn't you.
J.D.: I was kneeling on a nest.

[Turk and J.D. run out onto the road in front of Denise and Dr. Cox's ambulance]
Turk: [screams]
Denise: It's okay. Hey, Per. I just saw an adorable interracial gay couple. Aw, just precious.
Dr. Cox: Look it, enough of the squawk-box, all right? And just keep your eye on the road, what do you say?
Denise: All right, no more squawk-box. But, Perr, don't sweat the roads. I know 'em like the back of my hand.
[As Denise is distracted talking to Dr. Cox, the ambulance swerves across the road and crashes]
Dr. Cox: Oh, Per, I think I'm hurt. And not badly hurt, just a tidbit.

J.D.: [on the phone] Elliot, you gotta help me. We're in front of Molly's apartment, but her name isn't listed anymore. It's either 4G or 5G.
Elliot: J.D., this is ridiculous, it's 4 o'clock in the morning. Even if you catch her, she's leaving for the airport in like ten minutes.
J.D.: That's perfect. That'll leave us five minutes to cuddle.

J.D.: Hi, is Molly here?
Dr. Kelso: It's not my wife, is it, Debbie? Dorian. Turkleton. If you come in, you have to take your shoes off.
J.D.: Sorry, wrong apartment. Konnichiwa.