Turk: Listen, do me a favor. Don't try to overdo it with these guys, all right? Just be you. OK? Be yourself.
J.D.: Oh, you know how I do. What's up, fellas? I know, I'm usually medical. I just want you guys to know I consider you all my peepies.
J.D.: [v.o.] They know you mean peeps. Just change the subject.
J.D.: Whoa, somebody's been working out.
Man: What?
J.D.: Help me.

Dr. Kelso: Morning, sport.
J.D.: Morning, captain. So am I the first they've done this to?
Turk: No, man. They did this to Frank Fracherman.
J.D.: Who's Frank Fracherman?
Turk: OKay, you're the first one.
J.D.: Help me.
Turk: Yeah. [ripping] All right, don't sweat it, OK? Stay on your toes. [smash]
Dr. Cox: Sorry, girls, dropped my computer. Nyah.

Paul: Just so you know, I'm not folding my clothes before we do it tonight.
Elliot: Yes, you are.
Paul: Hey, Elliot, I just want to tell you that the last few weeks have been really amazing.
Elliot: Thanks. I love U2.
Paul: What did you just say?
Elliot: I said, I love U2.
Paul: Wow.

Dr. Wen: Removing the old heart.
Turk: All right, J.D., get in there.
J.D.: [v.o.] Turk's always looking out for me.
Turk: I told you I'd hook you up.
J.D.: [v.o.] Oh, my God. Here it's my first day in surgery and I'm holding a human heart. [all gaps] We were done with that one, right, guys?

J.D.: [v.o.] It felt weird not going to my normal table. Especially on PalmPilot synchronization day.
All: And now.

J.D.: [v.o.] Still, even though Turk was trying to help, I felt like such an outsider.
Surgeon: I can't believe my girlfriend's dragging me to the ballet.
Todd: Your girlfriend? Or your boyfriend? What's up?
J.D.: Turk did ballet.
Turk: I just used it to help with my agility for sports, that's all. You know. I never wore the clothes or anything like that.
J.D.: Actually...
[flashback to college:]
Turk: Dude, close the door, close the door!

Carla: You never explained that U2 thing, did you?
Elliot: I've been thinking. Maybe it's not such a bad thing. Things are going well. Maybe it was fate. I could have looked at my Bell Biv DeVoe CD and said, "I love Bell Biv DeVoe." Which I do, by the way. And I'm not ashamed of it.
Both: [singing] That girl is poison

Carla: Elliot, i think that if you guys are meant to get to this point, it'll happen naturally.
Elliot: You're right. "I love U2." Dammit. Why do I say every thing that comes into my head? Oh, I really wish you wouldn't stand close to me after your hummus break. See? I didn't need to say that. I'm gonna tell him.
Paul: Love you.
Elliot: Love you more. [Carla sighs] You know what? Brush your teeth, then judge me.

J.D.: Turk, Turk. Wait, wait, wait. Look, I can totally get you back in with all the surgery boys.
Ted: Can you? Really? Totally?
J.D.: Yeah, I'll just talk to them. Schmitty, Schultzy, Trigger, Fig Sack, Small Pete, Little Pete, Tiny Pete, The Jackal, Aardvark and Steve.
Turk: Dude, who the hell are you talking about?
J.D.: Oh, yeah. We all went out last night and I sort of made up some new nicknames for all the fellas. By the way, you're Slappy Bag.
Turk: You've lost it.
J.D.: Come on, Slappy Bag.
Turk: Don't call me Slappy Bag.

Paul: Hey, slow down on that Brie. You know what cheese does to you.
Elliot: Yet another good tip. [eats the cheese quickly]
Paul: You know, I've been thinking a lot about us lately.
Elliot: [swallows] Me too.
Paul: God, you drive me crazy.
Elliot: Oh, you drive me crazy.
Paul: Sometimes at night I just lay awake thinking about how unbelievably lucky I am to have you in my life.
Elliot: Sometimes you're so controlling, it makes me want to strangle you. [goes into kiss, Paul backs away] Ow, my nose!
Paul: Elliot, are you trying to break up with me?
Elliot: [belches] Sorry, cheese.