J.D.: You knew she worked here? I can't believe you kept a secret. Remember before your wedding when you sold me out to Turk?
Carla: J.D., you showed up drunk at my shower screaming through tears that I'd never be as connected to him as you are.
J.D.: Turk knew I was joking.
J.D.: [v.o.] We're so emotionally connected.

Turk: Elliot, nobody respects clinic doctors.
Elliot: Really? I think your hernia patient does.
Turk: I'm not upset about that.
Carla: It's obvious you are.
J.D.: It's more obvious to me, baby... I mean Turk.

Elliot: Look, I know this place isn't the great, but it's not like I lay awake at night thinking about being yelled at by Dr. Cox or playing Jiggly Ball with the orderlies.
J.D.: [v.o.] How do I not know about this game?
Elliot: At this clinic, I get to practice medicine for people who really need me. I mean, honestly, I feel like I belong here.
Nurse: Dr. Cole just got stabbed in the parking lot, and we're out of gauze. Is it cool if I take lunch?
Elliot: This place is crushing my soul.

J.D.: Can you believe Elliot's working in a free clinic?
Dr. Cox: Who?
J.D.: Dr. Reid?
Dr. Cox: I'm sorry, that's just not ringing a bell.
Carla: She and J.D. used to sleep together.
Dr. Cox: J.D.?
J.D.: That's not even funny.
Dr. Cox: Priscilla, I honestly, on my mother's grave, thought your real name was Carol.

Carla: Whoa, whoa. You wanna hear a weird coincidence? The pathology just came back on Dr. Kelso's rich patient. He has the same brain tumor as your guy, Mr. Morrison.
J.D.: [v.o.] I don't know why we were running, because I think we both knew that we couldn't change anything. Because given a choice between a rich guy and a poor guy, it was pretty obvious who Bob Kelso would put in the drug trial, and who he'd leave behind. Another banner day at Sacred Heart. A best friend stuck in a crappy job, a nice guy slowly dying without a fighting chance. It's a wonder how anyone can walk out of this place with a smile on their face.

Carla: We have to help Elliot get her job back.
Turk: Baby, there's no money to hire another attending.
J.D.: Maybe, though. Dr. Bailey was fired last night.
Carla: Why?
[flashback to a male, British doctor with a female patient:]
Dr. Bailey: For this procedure, I'm going to have to numb you. Num-num-num-num-num.
[present:]
Turk: You know, in Dr. Bailey's defense
Carla: No, no, no, no.
J.D.: There have been times-
Carla: No.

Carla: So anyways, we figured if I offered to do the nursing schedules, and these guys volunteered to do shifts at the clinic, Kelso might give you your job back.
Elliot: No, thanks.
Carla: Why?
[fantasy, one year later:]
Elliot: Carla, I can't do your paperwork, I am swamped.
Carla: I got you your job back.
[fantasy, two years alter:]
Elliot: Turk, I am not giving you my last Tater Tot!
Turk: I got you your job back.
[fantasy, two and a half years later:]
Elliot: J.D., I don't care if they're able to attach one person's limbs onto another's body, I am not giving you my hands!
J.D.: Job back!
[later, as J.D. and Elliot watch a movie, Elliot has stumps for hands and J.D. has two small hands poking out of his chest:]
J.D.: Just a beautiful film. Beautiful. Corn? Oh, let me help you. Let me I got you. Here you go. You're tickling your hands. Wait, stop! You're tickling your hands.
Elliot: Buttery.
J.D.: OK, keep going. I enjoy it, actually.
[reality:]
J.D.: Ah. Two and a half years away from chest hands.

J.D.: Guys, why?
Carla: The Janitor told us if we pretended to know about Jiggly Ball, we'd get to throw tennis balls at you.
Turk: And we couldn't pass it up!
Elliot: Got my shift covered!
J.D.: I could see where it would be funny from the outside of the circle.

Elliot: I told you guys to leave it alone.
Carla: Would you stop being so proud?
Elliot: I'm proud? Carla, after the wedding, you wouldn't take Turk's name.
Carla: I use it for official things.
Elliot: Letting him call you Mrs. Turk in the bedroom isn't official.
Turk: But it is officially hot!
Elliot: And Turk, you freaked when the patient listened to me over you. And J.D., you just let the entire hospital pummel you with tennis balls because you were too proud to admit you didn't know Jiggly Ball. I think there may be something wrong with my spine, because I'm not doing that.

J.D.: [v.o.] Even though I had no clue what I was gonna say, Elliot's attitude inspired me to go introduce the hell out of Bob Kelso.
J.D.: Ladies and gentlemen, Dr. Bob Kelso is a-
Dr. Kelso: Thank you, Dr. Dorian. [applause] Thank you so much for this award. Delighted to see you all-
Dr. Cox: Did I say he wanted a long introduction? Because Kelso just he just likes when people say his name. Hope you didn't obsess too much about that, Newbie.