Alexis: Oh, my God, Ted, what are you doing here?
Ted: I wanted to surprise you.
Alexis: Oh my God, okay, babe, hi.
Ted: Hi, hi. Hi, uh, sorry there were limited options at the airport gift shop.
Alexis: "Have a great flight", so sweet.

David: Why do you look... ?
Stevie: Hot? Oh, I got a spray tan.
David: Patrick gave you his appointment, didn't he?
Stevie: No, I just put mine on your credit card.
David: Okay, well that's fraud and you're a criminal, so where even is my life partner?

David: See, these are good. We could use any of these.
Stevie: David, those are just ones where you look good.

Patrick: Well, only took me nine showers to still look like this.
David: See, this is good, this is how you were supposed to look.
Patrick: Oh, well then if that's all it took should we just head back to Ray's?
David: I don't know. Do you think he'd have time?
Patrick: No, I was being very, very sarcastic.
David: Oh.

Patrick: Are there any usable shots?
Both: Umm.
Stevie: None of the ones where you can see your face or hands, There's a few I think that... but we're still looking.
David: A few that might be good.

Patrick: Cool, so I guess my relatives will just have to imagine what the person I'm marrying looks like and how happy I am to be with him, and...
David: Okay fine. Ooh, maybe we just open up the guest list a bit and invite a few more of your distant relatives. Or, I do have head shots from my pageant days that I could mail out to them.

Patrick: David, can we just agree to stop making this wedding a bigger deal than it needs to be. We are not these people.
David: Okay. Well, this is a teachable moment for all of us. You know, look at his tan, looks great, the lighting's right, maybe Stevie should take a few candid shots and see what happens.
Stevie: You're insane.

Twyla: Hey, Alexis, I haven't seen you running in a while.
Alexis: Thanks, Twy. Yeah, I just needed to get out and clear my head.
Twyla: Is everything okay?
Alexis: I don't know.
Twyla: Okay, do you think a smoothie might help?
Alexis: [sighs] No, I think I'll just take a smoothie.

Twyla: That is hard.
Alexis: I feel like now's the point where you normally have some surprisingly helpful advice.
Twyla: I know you, Alexis, and... you always make the right decision.
Alexis: Hm.
Twyla: Eventually.
Alexis: Thanks, Twy.

Roland: What's going on here?
Johnny: Uh, nothing, nothing. No we were uh, just uh... [stops music] Doing a final polish on the uh, on the room.
Roland: Uh-huh. [lights turn on] Oh, I guess martinis work better than wax, huh? [chuckles] Johnny, wasn't it you who said it was dangerous to treat your assets like personal possessions?
Johnny: And what may I ask are you two doing back here?
Jocelyn: I told you we would get caught, Roly.