Ted: [on Skype] Alexis, I'm sorry for dropping the ball on our calls. I thought that we would have Wi-Fi on the trip and we didn't, so... the rest of the team just had to listen to me talk about you for seven days. In fact, they actually named the new fly "Alexis."
Alexis: The fly that mates with itself?
Ted: Yeah, I think the important thing is that, now, I have a little Alexis here with me, just buzzing around.
Alexis: I'm just like so happy to see your face.
Ted: Me too.
Alexis: Boop.
Ted: Boop.

Moira: Okay, John, I'm going to throw another name at you: Ronnie. Owns her own business, no kids. Clearly doesn't spend any money on herself.

Moira: I'm, I'm sorry, I'm, I'm not comprehending.
Roland: We... are buying into the business. Say hello to your new business partners.
Moira: Oh, well, if that's not cause for alcohol I don't know what is.

Moira: Alexis, what have I told you about putting your body on the internet? Never! Never without proper lighting.
Alexis: Can everyone get out, please?! I haven't seen my boyfriend in like eight days.
Moira: And I haven't seen my furry Fendi's for weeks.

Alexis: What a coincidence. I've been thinking about you a lot. At nighttime. I've been all alone and lonely.
David: [horrified gasp]
Alexis: Oh! Oh my God, David! Knock much?!
Ted: [on Skype] Hi, David!
David: Hi. Is he dressed?
Alexis: Yes!
David: Ugh. Forget it.
Alexis: Okay, we're celebrating our anniversary. Can you give us some privacy, please?

Johnny: Kids, just wanna let you know I'm taking the car this morning.
Alexis: Ugh!
David: Mm. You might wanna say hi to Ted. He and Alexis were about to engage in cyber-sex.
Alexis: [frustrated] Mm!
Johnny: Hi, Ted.
Ted: [on Skype] Hi, Mr. Rose.

Ted: [on Skype] Hi, Mrs. Rose!
Alexis: No. We're not engaging with them. Everybody out so I can finish off with Ted!
David: Sick!
Alexis: Ugh! Goodbye, please!
Moira: Found them!

Stevie: What took you so long?
David: Uh, you said it was an emergency, so I came straight here.
Stevie: You stopped for coffee?
David: And a breakfast burrito that I got to go. So what's going on?

David: You know that I was once told that I would make an excellent flight attendant.
Stevie: Hmm! By who?
David: Sandy, the hostess on our private plane. She once let me de-bone a branzino during turbulence.
Stevie: So what're you trying to say? You don't think I have what it takes to be a flight attendant?
David: No. I just think if it's between the two of us, we all know who's getting the job.

Carol: Well, it is so exciting to see how much interest there is in Larry Air. Oh, I should mention, if anyone here is involved in the class-action lawsuit against Larry Air, you are disqualified from applying. [a couple of people get up and leave] All right, why don't we go around, and I'll have each of you state your name and tell us what you consider your biggest weakness.
David: Ooh!
Stevie: Me? Um... Stevie Budd, and um... I'd say my biggest weakness is... that I'm disorganized.
David: Ooh, that's true.
Stevie: And, um, I'm indecisive.
David: Yes.
Stevie: Uh... I also...
Carol: Okay. We just needed one.