Ted Quote #73

Quote from Ted in The Job Interview

Ted: [on Skype] Alexis, I'm sorry for dropping the ball on our calls. I thought that we would have Wi-Fi on the trip and we didn't, so... the rest of the team just had to listen to me talk about you for seven days. In fact, they actually named the new fly "Alexis."
Alexis: The fly that mates with itself?
Ted: Yeah, I think the important thing is that, now, I have a little Alexis here with me, just buzzing around.
Alexis: I'm just like so happy to see your face.
Ted: Me too.
Alexis: Boop.
Ted: Boop.


 ‘The Job Interview’ Quotes

Quote from Moira

Moira: Alexis! Your father and I are going to meet for a celebratory lunch when he's done at the bank, and... I was supposed to invite you to join us.
Alexis: Yeah, I'm a little busy.
Moira: What in God's name do you have there? Please tell me it's not a Testudine.
Alexis: No, it's a turtle.
Moira: Alexis! Turtles do not pets make. The poor things are riddled with a myriad of diseases. You may as well tie a leash around a raw chicken cutlet.

Quote from Twyla

Twyla: My mom had a turtle dove that was eaten by her ex-fiancé's snake. That was a bad sign.
Alexis: Oh my God.
Twyla: And it happened on Valentine's Day.
Alexis: Mm.
Twyla: And her fiancé was a Satanist.

Quote from Ted

Alexis: Well, I guess if this is what you look like after finding some gross fly, I can forgive you for being away for so long.
Ted: [on Skype] I've actually been bench pressing 100-pound tortoises because there's no gym here.
Alexis: Ted! Stop making me jealous of turtles.
Ted: Tortoises, but I do have "tur-tell" you that I've been thinking about you, a lot, especially at nighttime.