Moira: Alexis! We were just having the most stimulating conversation about you...
David: ...ganda! Ugandan... politics.

Alexis: I was on a date. Artie took me to the new steakhouse in Elmdale, and it was like, way too expensive, but hey, I'm not the one paying.
David: [scoffs] "Artie?"
Alexis: Yeah, I just thought after like, the whole Ted thing, it was healthier for me to just put myself out there. Anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to get ready for bed.
Moira: I say, bravo, Alexis. Fling forward!

Patrick: Okay, so what's the total for the floral arrangement?
David: Um, I mean, it's hard to get an exact total at the moment, because there are so many variables still in play.
Patrick: Like you calling the florist, and getting a quote?
David: That might be one of them.
Patrick: Okay.

David: Um, Jocelyn has been smiling and waving at me from across the room in a very disturbing way.
Patrick: I meant to tell you she approached me about uh, working at the Apothecary.
David: Hmm. [laughs] You did tell her "no?" That it probably wasn't the best fit for our brand identity?
Patrick: Uh, I told her that I had to talk to you about it.
David: Look she's coming over. Here she is.

David: But I guess a trial run wouldn't hurt anybody.
Jocelyn: [laughs] There ya go! Thanks, you guys, oh! I'll meet you at the store. I'm just gonna go home and change into something a little more casual.
David: "More casual?"
Patrick: Well, look at it this way, David. Maybe having Jocelyn on staff will give a little extra time to call the florist.

Alexis: Oh my God, is he calling me right now?! That is so 2001. [answers phone] Hey, babe. Yep, you just double-tap on photo with your finger. Okay.

David: Now, I like to approach the customer as if we don't need their business. Okay, let them wander the store, experience the products. We're here to help if they have a question.
Jocelyn: Okay.
Customer: Excuse me? Do you have this in a smaller size?
David: We don't, unfortunately.
Customer: Oh.
Jocelyn: Although, speaking as someone who uses the body milk on the regs - just had a baby, don't wanna get stretch marks. [all chuckle] Trust me when I say you're gonna wanna go with the larger size, 'cause you'll go through it faster than you think.
Customer: Oh, actually, I'm shopping for my daughter. She just had a baby as well.
David: Hm, well, take a look around, and let us know if you have any questions.
Jocelyn: I say look no further, go with the body milk. She'll love it, plus it's great for diaper rash.
Customer: Okay! Sold. Thank you for your help.

Jocelyn: Wow, my first sale! You guys make it look so much harder. Have a "Rose-y" day! Have a "Rose-y" day!
David: [laughs] We won't be doing "Rose-y day."
Jocelyn: No?
David: No.
Jocelyn: No?
David: No.

Stevie: Um, since I'm no longer the star witness in this criminal case, can I get back to work?
Moira: [to Ronnie] No, you see here, I'm exaggerating for effect. And I made sure to never mention the name of your precious borough.
Stevie: I'm gonna take that as a "yes."

Roland: It wasn't hard to figure out, Moira. Somebody posted it on the town message board, and now tempers are running hot.
Ronnie: Yeah, Bob was so upset he had to go home.