Moira: Hello, council people! Why, you ask, are we here, trembling before you? [silence] Well, I'll answer your question. I was assailed this morning.
Ronnie: Is that a fact?
Moira: Stone cold. Stevie was there. Stevie, describe the carnage.
Stevie: Um, well, there were a couple of broken eggs on Mrs. Rose's car, and one on the back windshield.
Moira: It was shattered!
Ronnie: The windshield?
Moira: The egg! That's the bestial level of attack with which we are dealing.

Roland: Well, you know, after this little interview in People Magazine, I'm surprised those eggs weren't actually thrown at you.
Moira: Has it hit the stands? My publicist is off today.
Ronnie: It sure has. You describe the town as, and I quote, "the last place you'd ever wanna end up."
Moira: Oh no, I described the town as the last place I'd ever want to end up.

Moira: Roland, something has to be done! It's a simple miscommunication. Do you want Stevie to be cleaning eggs off my car every morning?!

Ronnie: No, I don't think you need more people knowing which car is yours, Moira, but I do have an idea that I think will solve all our problems.
Roland: Okay, but can we discuss it over lunch? I pre-ordered a tuna sandwich, and those things can turn on a dime.

Moira: Oh, allow me to leave you with this. I solemnly vow to make right by all of you. As soon as one of you details my car.

Patrick: Look, I didn't expect this from Jocelyn either, but clearly, she has a connection to the people of this community, and I say we make the most of it.
David: Okay, so what, you want to offer her a job?
Patrick: Well, I think the offer would mean more coming from you.
Jocelyn: Another sale, boys! [bell jingles]
David: Where'd she get that bell?
Patrick: She brought it from home.

Johnny: Hi honey, everything okay?
Alexis: Yeah, everything is great. My life is going, like, really, really great right now!
Johnny: Oh, well, that's, uh, that's good.
Alexis: Here's a fun thing, I just got dumped by a man who wears three medic-alert bracelets.

Patrick: Well, today was a great day for us. And with that in mind, um... David has something that he would like to say.
David: Two things, actually. Um, first thing, thought we discussed shelving "have a Rose-y day."
Jocelyn: Ah, people seem to enjoy it.
David: Yeah. And two, Patrick and I would like to officially welcome you to the sales staff here at Rose Apothecary.
Jocelyn: Oh my gosh! That is so sweet! [laughs]
Patrick: You're welcome.
Jocelyn: But I just don't think it's for me.
David: Mmm!
Patrick: It's not for you?
Jocelyn: Yeah, I mean, as David would say, I just don't think it's in my brand.
David: [laughs] I don't think I've ever said that.
Jocelyn: It's just not for me.

Patrick: So this store is just not for you?
Jocelyn: Yeah. I'd rather take my chances, you know, see if some tutoring gigs come up.
Patrick: Tutoring? Because that's a... a better job than working here?
Jocelyn: Well, I find teaching students very fulfilling. You know, not what you two do here isn't fulfilling, you know, for you, but it's just not fulfilling...
Patrick: For you. Got it.
David: For her.
Patrick: Yeah, well hey, what... whatever you wanna do.
Jocelyn: Thank you for the opportunity. And you guys can keep the bell.

David: All I'm saying is, I don't necessarily trust the numbers.
Patrick: Oh.
David: I had an ex in San Francisco who was a real estate agent, and basically made all of our friends buy penthouses just to make it look like he was doing well. For all we know, these could just be Jocelyn's friends.
Patrick: Well, friends or not, that's still a sale.
David: Yeah, but is that what we're really about? Like, just selling products?
Patrick: Yep, that is literally the purpose of our store.