David: Um, I asked Stevie.
Alexis: David, you better be talking about Stevie Nicks.
Alexis: Stevie said yes?
Patrick: I mean, it was more of a reluctant "sure."
Alexis: Okay, well, it sound like she doesn't actually wanna do it. So why don't I just come with, and I will gently take it off her hands.

David: Fine. But I don't want any hurt feelings. Because the last thing we need right now is interpersonal conflict eclipsing my... our day.
Alexis: Imagine what I could do with you bachelor party, David. Diplo still sends me nudes.
David: [to Patrick] It's a DJ.

Johnny: Oh, Roland, I'm shocked. These rooms are in good shape.
Roland: Well, I don't know what you were expecting, Johnny. I mean, no offense, but I don't throw good money down on lemons. Who am I, you buying your car?
Johnny: Okay, we've had no problems with the car, Roland.
Roland: Well...

Johnny: No, this place has good bones.
Roland: Oh, look... the maid forgot to pick up her tip.
Johnny: Is that a bag full of money?
Roland: Yeah, it's kinda a generous tip when you consider she didn't clean up this garbage and this loaded gun.
Johnny: All right. Don't point it, put it down. Put the gun down. Someone's clearly been squatting here. And by the looks of it, they don't appear to be on the up and up.
Roland: Well, maybe Benny and Betty left this here. And we just inherited a bag of money and a gun. If we're gonna split it up, I call the money.
Johnny: We're not taking the money, Roland. Whoever left it here is obviously coming back for it.
Roland: Why do you say that? I left a pack of chewing gum at the movie theater two weeks ago, and I haven't gone back for it.

Johnny: Roland, I say we go to the police. We have to let them handle it.
Roland: And then what? We offer our guests a discount to stay in the middle of a crime scene.
Johnny: Then what do you suggest?
Roland: Let's stake out the place, Person comes back, takes their stuff, leaves, and we can change the locks. Johnny: Okay, we give it a day, see if the guy comes back.
Roland: Or gal. This is the 21st century, Johnny.
Johnny: Okay.
Roland: Let's get with it. Come on. I'm with it.

Twyla: Mrs. Rose, was that you the whole time?
Moira: Indeed it was. Thanks in large part to the thaumaturgy of our special effects department. Stunning, isn't it? What a human beak can do?
Ronnie: So wait. Did you get the virus in the end?
Moira: Was that not clear? Should we give it another watch?
Jocelyn: No, I think three times through is the sweet spot.

Patrick: So that's your uniform, huh?
David: You do know that "Pan Am" was cancelled after a season, right?

Moira: So how are you doing, Jocelyn? You seem to be wishing to discharge something from your chest today at rehearsal and... didn't get a chance.
Jocelyn: Uh, no, I'm fine.
Moira: You're fine. Why? Why do you hate my movie?
Jocelyn: I just saw the trailer.
Moira: Exactly! Yet you've already deemed it this year's John Carter.
Jocelyn: I never said that.
Moira: You didn't have to. Just the look in your eyes sent a chilling, wet gust of raspberries to my face.

Jocelyn: Moira, you don't really care if I like your movie?
Moira: Don't be giddy. But just so you know, Jocelyn, an actress is only as happy as her unhappiest audience.

Alexis: Um, speaking of maid of honour duties... Stevie? Thoughts on the bachelor party.
Stevie: Oh-oh. Um, I think I was just gonna see what David wanted to do?
David: Okay. I'm super easy. Although I did find a gorgeous ryokan in Hakone With a hot spring-fed onsen on the balcony? Private Chef optional. But I'm open to other ideas.
Alexis: Okay. Hot tip: it often makes for less stress if you just plan it yourself and then tell the bride after.
David: Okay. Stevie, not hot on that tip. Okay?