Mark: Oh, God. What is that?
Leslie Knope: This is our entry for the mural contest. We couldn't decide on one design, so we took parts that we all liked of our designs, and then we just kind of smushed it into a thing.
Mark: Well, you made a camel. You've never heard that saying? The camel was actually a horse designed by a committee. And what you guys have here is one ugly camel. Featuring Bill Paxton.
Donna: Greg Kinnear.
Mark: Right. Greg Kinnear.
Donna: Oh! Is Bill Paxton from Indiana?

Andy: Oh, hey, Ron. What's up?
Ron Swanson: Uh... Andy, you know, the thing the other day?
Andy: Other day, other day... Yeah. Oh, yesterday?
Ron Swanson: I am... That... That was... I feel...
Andy: I'm okay... You know, I'd be okay if we... I'd be okay if we never mentioned it again.
Ron Swanson: [taps nose] Never mention what again?
Andy: The moan, Ron. The weird moan you made. That was super weird. Do you not remember that? I talked about it with the lady who went after you for a half an hour. She said she thought it was an animal...
Ron Swanson: Okay. It was just an odd moment. Let's just... Let's just not talk about it anymore.
Andy: Oh, that's what I was trying to say. But, yeah. Okay.

Paul: What are the shapes?
Ann: The shapes are awesome, is what they are. You can't handle it.
Paul: No, I actually like them.
Committee Member: Forgive me. Is that Michael Jackson?
Donna: [laughs] Yes. The pride of Indiana.
April: That's right. So, it's relevant.
Committee Member: Who is he carrying?
Leslie Knope: Jesus Greg Kinnear.
Paul: You know, it looks like he's carrying Kinnear into the burning building.
Leslie Knope: Oh, well, that's because he's moonwalking. So, he should be going the other way. That did not occur to me. [April laughs] Sorry. So, there you go. The Spirit of Pawnee.
[aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: We didn't win. But neither did anyone else. They realized it was going to cost a ton of money to hire a muralist. So, they're just going to restore the old one. They're changing the title to The Diversity Express. Oh, well.

Tom: No. No. It's not as good as the other one.
Arnold: I don't know what you mean by "good."
Tom: Neither do I! Just do another one.
Arnold: You know, I have actual assignments that I have to finish for art school?
Tom: Shut up and do more art for me. [holding an abstract painting] This one's racist. [looking at another] It's beautiful. I've looked at this for five hours now. I like the green one. And the red circle right here. I'm tearing up, man.

Leslie Knope: Look, Mark. Please. You're the only one of us who's actually got any talent. I know you'll do something good. And I really, really want to win this. Please? What are you going to do tonight?
Mark: I was going to go to Arby's and watch Frontline.

Leslie Knope: Okay. Here we go.
Mark: Okay. So, it is an old man feeding pigeons in a park. Uh... The spirit of Pawnee? Maybe?
Tom: You got to be kidding me.
Ann: How is that better than my park scene?
April: It isn't. And that's saying something.
Donna: And who's the man? Is he famous? Is it Martin Landau?
Mark: Look, I have no dog in this fight. I'm just saying that this will win.
Tom: It's nothing. It's mush. There's not even one shape in there, Mark. Where are the shapes?
Mark: I'm not saying that this is any good. I'm saying that this will win. It's mass appeal. It's like what motels put up, and it hangs there for years, and no one ever throws acid at it.
Ron Swanson: Mmm. Who did this? I like it.
Ann: Seriously? I mean... Sorry.
Ron Swanson: Yeah. It comforts me. That'll win.

Joe: Hey, Knope. How's life in the Parks De-fart-ment?
Leslie Knope: Better than life in the Sewage De-fart-ment. Which makes more sense.
Joe: Whatever. You guys are screwed. Get used to this. Because it's going to be hanging on the wall right outside your door for the next 100 years. That was pretty good. You think they're going to win?
Mark: No. No. They went super patriotic. It's a classic mistake. It seems crowd-pleasing, but it's still a stance. And in government, there's always someone who will oppose a stance. Us? Old man feeding pigeons? No stance. Absolutely no point of view whatsoever.
Leslie Knope: No point of view. Smart.

Donna: No offense, Leslie, but I'm not an artist.
Leslie Knope: Oh, that's not true, Donna. I've seen your fingernails.
Donna: Um, I pay someone to do this.
Leslie Knope: Really? Oh, well, shoot.

Andy: Do you have a key in your shoe?
Ron Swanson: No. No, I have a bunion that's practically its own toe. Normally, the pain howls through my loafers like a banshee on the moors. But for these past three minutes, it's been reduced to a faint growl.
Andy: Okay. That's neat.

Andy: Next?
Kyle: You shouldn't let your friends cut in line. It's not good business.
Andy: You want to know what else isn't good business? [throws Kyle's briefcase] That guy's my friend.
Kyle: Right. I'm saying you shouldn't let your friends cut in line.
Andy: All right. Sorry, pal. Here. Give me this. [throws briefcase in the opposite direction] Next.