April: Why is your arm around her? I broke you up.
Tom: Well, we got back together again 'cause of what you said.
April: What do you mean? I didn't say anything.
Ann: Yeah, when we were carrying you to bed, you correctly pointed out that we were arguing about stuff that was stupid, and so we talked it out. And I apologized, and he apologized. And now everything's great.
Tom: Thanks.
April: No. I'm drunk. Don't listen to me, no.
Ann: See you out there.
April: No.

Leslie Knope: Okay, I want everyone to go around and tell their favorite Jerry story.
Andy: [raises hand, laughs]
Leslie Knope: A positive one. [Andy lowers his hand] Who's first?

Leslie Knope: Okay, Ron.
Ron Swanson: Jerry's work is often adequate.
Chris: I'll go. Jerry has a wife and three beautiful daughters. A full life. And that's amazing. April and Andy have Champion, and that's amazing. I have a stepbrother who lives in London and 2.8% body fat.

Ron Swanson: Is this all the eggs we have?
Tom: Yes. What are you making?
Ron Swanson: Eggs.

Ben: Leslie.
Leslie Knope: Surprise! Oh, God. What happened?
Ben: Well, you slept with Jerry last night.
Leslie Knope: No, I was planning Jerry's morning surprise party. Morning surprise parties are always the best.

Leslie Knope: I will cut back to 10 hours a week.
Ron Swanson: Deal.
Leslie Knope: 15.
Ron Swanson: 10.
Leslie Knope: Deal.

April: Ugh, I can't believe I got them back together. Now they're always gonna want to come talk to me about stuff.
Andy: Eh, that's a good thing, babe. They want to talk to you because you're important to them.
April: Yes, but I hate them.
Andy: I know you do, sweetheart.