Ron Swanson Quote #368
Quote from Ron Swanson in Ann's Decision
Ben: Chris? I'm dying.
Chris: [straining] I was dying earlier today. And then I died. Now I'm dead. I had to cancel a date with Shauna Malwae-Tweep. And I really like her. Do you think she'll still like me now that I'm dead?
Ben: What is this?
Ron Swanson: It's food poisoning. I have it too. I did not sleep for one second last night. And I cracked the bottom of the toilet bowl.
Ben: Oh, God, don't say that.
Chris: Has anybody talked to Tom? I can't even imagine what that tiny little man must be feeling like.
Ron Swanson: I have voided more than Tom's body weight in the last 12 hours alone. He might have just disappeared off the earth.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Ann's Decision’ Quotes
Quote from Ben
Ben: You know what? I'm gonna go with the first place. I really loved that appetizer.
Chris: Oh, the mini-calzone?
Ben: I wouldn't call it that. It was more like a savory pastry. Delicate little dough pocket filled with tomato sauce, cheese, and seasoned meat. Just a stunning culinary innovation.
[aside to camera:]
Ron Swanson: It was a calzone.
Chris: It was literally just a small calzone.
Quote from Tom
Ben: Okay, so I liked number one, Chris liked number two, and Ron liked number three. Tom, what about you?
Tom: Caterer number one's presentation was simple, mm, yet exhausting. Number two's was subtle and provocative, like a coy Dutch woman guarding a dark secret.
Ben: Nothing you're saying is helpful.
Tom: But number three's told a story. A story from a book I wouldn't read but I would watch the movie of.
Ben: [sighs] That's nonsense.
Quote from April
April: Hello, everyone. I'm April Ludgate from the Parks Department. And welcome to a public forum about the Pawnee Commons. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said to Betty Ford... "Hillary Clinton is great." Now, if you all would kindly look under your chairs, you will find a special surprise, a flyer with details about the project, and friendship bands that I've made for each and every one of you. So now, I guess we're Park Pals.